clubs? more like...cruds!

i am not really a fan of clubs. they make me feel old, and say things like "the musics too loud, i need a seat!" but sometimes i go, because its not where you are but who your with that matters. plus theres always the vague chance that a kindly young lass will take pity on me (only to be pitying herself the following morning) Anyhoo, heres my compilation of my own names for the clubs of the glow

Cat House -Cack house
Campus- Camp arse
garage-gay rage
sports bar- sports bra
firewater-fire crotcher
kusion-shunned
sea- semen

and probably more...

thought of the day-my ego is as big as my dong. and both bruise easily, so be gentle

shower tears

I've decided that theres only one place any self respecting man can cry. and thats in the shower (or sometimes when on the crapper, but thats just down to a relaxation of intense build of pressure) the cleansing water not only hides the single solitary tear that slides down your cheek so slowly, it also washes away any trace that you have failed to uphold your manly dignity.

in other less disturbing news. I. am. tired. so very very tired. 45 hours this week. 13 hour shift yesterday. and yet i fully intend to go ahead with this toga malarky. i've bought my sheet today and watched a useful instructional video on how to create said toga. there was also one showing how to make girls togas, but i would have felt a little perverted checking it out. so i did. the more you know, the further you go (on your first date)

on the plus i have finally got round to booking my holidays. kind of had to go around peoples back to do so but i've been asking for two months. i'm doing 25 extra hours a week and i'm failing my course for the good of the land, so woteva minga. 23rd june is the start team, so lets finally organise this damn sun sea and sangria.

thought of the day-I wish i could care about you dissillusioned success, but i'm a bit busy dealing with my dissillusioned failure.

still feeling very emasculated (as you can tell)

the lady situation

...is a bit like global warming. should really do something about it , but hey that requires effort. The Bob women parasitic symbiosis was summed up quite nicely last night. was out grabbing some air with a friend at the slightly too gothy Cathouse when, lo and behold, a foxy woman approaches. we gab away and shoot the shit with pin point accuracy and theres me thinking "looking good bob, you old hairy smoothy you" and then another girl comes up and is introduced as HER girlfriend. and i know, lesbians-woo-but i had already had my share of girl on girl action that night in the solid rock (they kept bumping into me and spilling my drink) The real stinger came when foxy girl says "You seem like a really nice guy, I wish I had a stright freind to set you up with"

so do I. so do I

thought of the-nice guys finish last-because they do special breathing exercises

NEON BUDDAH!

yesterday i learned how to balance an egg on its tip. one of those life skills that you need to know. but the main news of importance is my impending birthday (yawn) followed drunkenly by TOGA PARTY. all the old crew from back home will hopefully be coming plus a few more newer shineir and not quite as comfortably worn in friends. (and don't moan, two years just don't compare to 10) course i'm a leetle worried that A-I'll be working in the morning and 2-it'll so built up it will topple into a Babylonian failure. I bet God shoted JENGA! when he smote that anthill.

I went home and powergamed my way through gears of war in one day. because i can. and i got a free train ride home due to lazy conductors.

Superbad is awesome, just so you all know.

thought of the day-there are only 20 different people in the world, and we are all of them

theres an exam on?

had a fair trippy dream last night. had to carry a girl to the hospital who had had her throat cut out and replaced with either a bottle or a pringles tube. so i carried her into the hospital and into a female only ward, all the while trying to avoid looking at women in the throes of childbirth incase they wanted my ill suited emmotional support. i explained what happened to the dr and she told me that you had to replace throats only a little at a time. i stayed up with the girl all night making sure she was ok, and then i woke up.

and now i'm hung over for an exam.

thought of the day-i'm not you and you're not me yet we keeping trying to mould each other like two clay hands

O rly!?

Al gore invented the internet
the internet helped garner a large audience for south park
south park created manbearpig
I am not american yet i occasionally ponder on such things

...the internet turns you american!

seems iran was quite justified in their ban. still they could do a china and have slave labour play world of war craft as gold farmers who then sell on their virtual monies to americans for real money, thereby disrupting the real ecconemy AND the financial infastructure. my dads a financial advisor (i think, but by night he fights crime) so both genes and internet memes makes me right. and just like that, the capitalist pigs have their bacon cooked!

thought of the day. can your so called "science" explain the flight of a bird, the colour of burgundy, or the process of Esterification!

may be offensive

"Hey Bro"
"If it isn't my brother from another mother. I'm liking that colour co-ordination you got going on"
"Well they say brown is the new black. Though we seem to be wearing the same outfit.
"Well one of us is going to have to change. How's it hanging"
"Like a pendulum, constantly throwing me off balance. Been up to much?"
"Same ole same ole. And yourself? Still chasing pregnant women with coathangers?"
"We all need our hobbies, yours being furious masterbation"
"And I have a saucy threesome planned for tonight with Sarah and Kelly"
"I can't help but notice that you've named your hands after my Mother and Sister"
"Ah well, your dear ole mum is a diabetic"
"yes..."
"So all i got to do is catch her when she's on a sugar crash, spray squooshy cream all over my man parts and let nature take its course"
"Just how God intended...oooph"
"Did...did you just fart"
"Ah...slightly more than that I think"
"So it seems you ARE a man of the cloth after all"
"Good thing its already brown. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be off to preform a minor exorcist"

The monks went their seperate ways.