The End

Not this blog (though it seems in right now to jump ship with your blogging) but of a series of unfortunate events! Finally finished them all and feel slightly richer for the experience. Of course they did exactly what the Dark tower did-start off strong, get crap in the middle, promise to deliver so much at the end but ultimatly fail to. Like your sex life? Maybe!

They do however agree with me on a number of levels-ie that knowing everything is next to impossible and all you can hope to do are small victories of good, and also that you should ultimately make judgements yourself, rather than letting anyone else-including papers. Wait till the readers Of the Daily Punctillo see that! Interesting how religion gets slammed in the last book, didn't think that would be a target. opiates anyone?

Tune in next week to see my social-political examining of Naruto (clue:tailed beasts=nukes)

thought of the day-the more i work at the gay bar, the more i suspect that men just want somewhere to shove it, and women just want something to fill it. Everything else is conditioning

A teaser

That will ultimately dissapoint

It had been days since he had slept, maybe weeks. Time didn’t mean much anymore. Nothing meant much anymore. How did nihilists get up in the morning? This city was empty, just like all the other villages and towns were empty. Vacant in the day and hollow in the night. That wasn’t how the films all said it would be. Stephen would almost welcome the discovery that zombies or vampires were gathered round campfires telling the story of The Tanned One. Little fleshless children shivering in fear over his sinister ability to absorb vitamin D from the sun. Didn’t that make him a star vampire? By that logic Earth was just one big mosquito circling its prey.

Yep, the sun had baked him brown all right, what with all his travelling. He was pretty half baked himself, and took another drag as he drawed his ass up the stairs. The view from the top would be sweet and he could say goodbye to Mr Sun, maybe apologise for sucking so much.

He made it to the top and stood at the edge, staring into the abyss. Nothing started back. There was no way he could win a staring contest with Nothing.

Minamalist Fiction

How the Mighty Have Fallen

By Robert W Kilgour

George and his girlfriend were walking down the road. George slipped and landed on his back, unconcious. His girl dutifully called an ambulance. When George came to, he was in an ambulance with a paramedic leaning over him.

"How the hell did that happen!" George exclaimed, as indicated by the exclamation mark after his dialogue. Given it was a question as well, then perhaps a question mark should have followed.

"You slipped on some urban fox shit sir" the paramedic replied

"Damn those urban foxes!"

"I supported the hunting ban myself" said the paramedic conversationally. "Now can you tell me your name?"

"Geroge Mighty"

"Thank you"

George later died of complications.

fin

Thought of the day-There's not a single student that hasn't been tempted to submit an essay in comic sans font

sex and the psycho

Now despite the overwhelming evidence, lets not jump to any conclusions about my masculinity here, but I have started watching sex and the city. After all, aparently it covers everything, not that i wanted it too *shudder* And I guess i could justify it by saying it comes right on after south part and the effort to change chanels is too great.

So, while watching it, i realised a few things. Mr Big is a bastard! But an honest one at that, so it's Carries own fault. And, like my brother and kung foo karl, I am definetly a Miranda. However, the slightly more intresting point is that Sex and the city is a hell of a lot like american psycho, what with the cold detachment from love making, the obessions with fashion, style and image, as well as body parts. Indeed I don't think it would be too bold a statement to say that SATC is essentially the female equivalent of American Psycho. Women aren;t physically strong or as violent as men, so they emasculate them! Like that slightly kickass film Network says "Why is it that a woman always thinks that the most savage thing she can say to a man is to impugn his cocksmanship"

thought of the day-Only smart junkies get to pick how they feel

A really bad joke

That I thought of all by myself

What do you call a failed gynocologist?

An abortionist


it sounded funnier when i hadn't totally thought of it...

Deep south

And yet again a man has tried to force his intentions and his manhood upon me. But the circumstances this time are farrrrr more audacious. So in the club (the very fact i am in a club means i am ever so slightly tipsy) groovin with my buddy and grindin with my honey, when after returning from bar run i discover a young man dancing with girlfriend!

"It's ok, he's gay" i am assured by various people. BUT lets be honest, what man hasn't pretended to be gay so he can edge his way closer to unwary females. the ammount of romantic comedies depicting such notions is at least in double figures.

So i hatch upon a master plan. out gay him! what with my love of musicals and whimsicals it should be a cinch. cue sweet dance moves directed directly in his direction. UNFORTUNATLY, much like the time i played gay chicken with a gay dude, things didn't go so well. after witnessning such sweet moves, he asks my girlfriend if i am gay, to which she oh so helpfully replies "yeah, probably" Then, throwing decorum to the wind he goes all handsy on me, and goes south. deep south. all the way to lousiana and tries to shake hands with the Colonel.

I flee and I cry. it was not a finger lickin' good time