A factotum soul

Full time work is OVER, and you'd think i'd be rolling in it. exept i'm not a billionair playboy that fights crime at night. turns out i play a RIDICULOUS amount of tax on my full time earnings, which with any luck can be claimed back from the man and his complex military industrial complex.

anyway, with the extra money i figured i'd buy myself a swanky suit. then we actually went suit shopping and i DIED of boredom so that plan was put on pause, whereupon i pushed A and had the bazuka car to his thing. i very much suspect the money will go where it always does-to my liver and kidneys and my being awesome in general. and novelty t shirts.

The big summer of reading could be going better. but it could also be going worst, so with any luck i won't have any unread books in my room-a pet hate of mine. i've noticeced a hell of a lot of stephen king in the charity shops actually. looks like the old dude is past it.

Typically now work is lessened so has the sun. Global warming is such a tease, but i guess we'll all get burning hot skin rashes soon enough. suits me fine anyway. makes places quieter and people less stir crazy. will also keep the orange walks down, which lets be honest have lost all real meaning and are just scummy piss ups.

was thinking about growing my hair long again, getting some ink on me and finally stepping up to the open mike with the band name of Fleshy circuits. if i even do one of those three things i will be a happy happy man.

Also have some holidays booked. west highland way keeps looking appealing to me. and i've never been that far north. then again i might exchange walking for wheels and go on some crazy road trip, with zany happenings.

Saw an ungrown man cry last week. It wasn't fun. have to meet the womans mother tommorrow (presumably a woman as well) will probably be hungover and look like shit, which lets face it i always do.

the bad boyfriend list

Reasons why i am bad boyfriend

Mild alcoholism
refused admission to cinema while on date as result of above
occasionally smother girlfriends face with pillow
occasionally hide under bed and refuse to exit
force girlfriend to stand on my back (for chiaropractic reasons)
make suggestive comments about girlfriends sister
make suggestive comments about girlfriends brother
ate girlfriends xmas chocolates (gifted by me)
drank girlfriends birthday wine (gifted by me)
fell on girlfriend to cushion my own fall
occasionally hide small objects from girlfriend and pretend they never existed
grew beard and pretended it didn't exist
force girlfriend to make obscure video game references
disclose unnecessary information
named girlfriends boobs individually (lincoln and reginald)
wear girlfriends clothing (accidently)
use girlfreind as battering ram for clubs
make innappropriate pregancy jokes
make innappropriate gynacological jokes
force girlfriend to be big spoon
strangle girfriend while sleeping


Maybe it was a bad idea to put these all together in the same place....