Reasons why i am bad boyfriend
Mild alcoholism
refused admission to cinema while on date as result of above
occasionally smother girlfriends face with pillow
occasionally hide under bed and refuse to exit
force girlfriend to stand on my back (for chiaropractic reasons)
make suggestive comments about girlfriends sister
make suggestive comments about girlfriends brother
ate girlfriends xmas chocolates (gifted by me)
drank girlfriends birthday wine (gifted by me)
fell on girlfriend to cushion my own fall
occasionally hide small objects from girlfriend and pretend they never existed
grew beard and pretended it didn't exist
force girlfriend to make obscure video game references
disclose unnecessary information
named girlfriends boobs individually (lincoln and reginald)
wear girlfriends clothing (accidently)
use girlfreind as battering ram for clubs
make innappropriate pregancy jokes
make innappropriate gynacological jokes
force girlfriend to be big spoon
strangle girfriend while sleeping
Maybe it was a bad idea to put these all together in the same place....
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3 comments:
I wish I was your girlfriend because all of those were AWESOME.
Don't be so hard on yourself, big guy.
And wearing your girlfriend's clothes; fair play, but accidently?
Maybe he blundered into the wardrobe and played a game of lucky dip. And then Ruth came home and they both played an altogether different version of lucky dip.
Maybe this is none of my business.
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