and i look down with a frown at this dirty old town

sore and tired and tired and sore and I hate being the bloody fisher king through both reasons well and unkown.

got PO'd at work for calling me in on thur. there was a camera man avoiding all the unglamerous things that i did. i staged a silent violent protest by going out afters and getting fair wrecked. its the mature way to deal with your problems. then friday comes and the lads come in and we go out. team stewart gets shot down by women for being to young and a new older challenger enters, then another, and another.

may have accidently downloaded a virus due to replying to very suspect chainmail, the gist of which was "hey stud, saw your pic on bebo, lets meet and get jiggy" to be fair my reply was more humerous than desperate, but its uni comps anyway and they have whole team of tech support

sat comes round and depressed dumped friend demands more liver abuse. talking shite and boozing are the only kind of help i'm capable of so i conceed. we go home and i get grumpy and shout at people. sunday day old pizza for breakfast and have a shiter of a shift. also saw next weeks rota and cried and died a little, but only on the inside. full time dudes broken his hand/arm/pinky depending on who you ask and the timing couldn't be worst exam wise. still, i'm fair used to being taken advantage of. just ask yer maw! (and ironically, dumped friends ex)

friendly glaswegian shouts across as i run errands "You like like a faggot mate, a fuckin faggot" what i WANT to shout back is "and you look like an evil child raping bastard, but i was always taught not to judge folk by what they're looks" But being ridiculously bad at confrontion i just walk on. sides, saw my reflection in the mirror and indeed i did look less than manly. my own fault for shaving i guess.

end of shift sees a stramash at work, and a fair violent one, between 4 odd folk. i was going to stay out 0f it, cause thats generally what you would do in a club or something, but i see a woman get knocked down and laid back martin caught in the middle so i step in. we grab the guys and pull them out, taking a glancing blow to the nadgers in the process. then when we get in, martin, in way of thanks, triumphantly slams a koppenberg on the bar and declares "i think THAT deserves a drink" And I felt quite validated, but realised he poured it for him.

thought of the day-Strength through unity and comfort in conformity and watch me limp to this vicious cabaret

Freudian slippers

Don't listen to mike, twas I that was it's genisis.

a money making scheme...sell slippers that say something along the lines of "good night penis envyer...I mean mum" written phallicly across them.

you know, that sound WAYYYYYY better in my head than it does here. so it fit RIGHT at home on this blog.

as above, so below

and it's turtles all the way down...

"hey"
"hey yourself"
"hows it going?"
"It was going fine"
"harsh"
"but fair"
"and alls fair in love"
"but not war?"
"there is no fairness in war. i hate war"
"wow, how amazing we have so much in common"
"and yet we are decidedly uncommon people, you and I"
"are we now?"
"Birds of a feather..."
"should fuck together?"
"maybe, balls in your court"
"might just take them home with me then. a fitting trophy no. i know how much you like trophys"

Flash! ARRRRGH

The bullet punched through her belly and into the amniotic sac, before impacting upon his barely formed head. it was only recently that he had in fact become a he. By freakish chance the force of the impact caused the foetus to briefly, very briefly gain conciousness. his new baby blue eyes would have flicked upon if they were not lidless, and it took its first and last look at his world. the tomb of the womb with so little room. then the bullet come out the other side and the panorama passed away with him.

it wasn't swiss cheese till i had my way with it

HA. work is OVER. for one whole week no less, which means....well nothing really. just more procrasturbation and failure to do anything constructive, except complete halo of course. plenty money so that aint an issue. been down to forbidden planet and splashed some cash, smacking great wads of it in the cashiers face so they know i'm financially well endowed. bought V for Vendetta ("the bulging eyes of puppets strangled by their strings") and both frank millers dark knights. Reckon we should be studying them instead of virgina men are dicks wolfe.

finally got my bank card and found my ID, so hurah.

went to the cathederal and necropolis with C to the L. we're so damn cultured. all the tomb things were full of rubbish and empty buckfast bottles, so it's nice to know the local youth is also keen on learning about their ancestry. then again, maybe its actually the goths that use it as one of their haunts, getting jiggy before rigor mortis fails them and they suffer le petite morte.

Funny thing yesterday, went out with chef jojo to celebrate our release from the bull pen. went to barfly, which was apparently goth night, or at least dress extragantly and provacatively night. i myself looked slightly the part in my black hoody, though it meant being asked by people if they could by pills off me. guess i have that look. anyways there was this really drunk and really foxy lesbain couple coupling away in the corner (and later against the wall) they were really all over each other whilst a third very butch lesbain that i mistook for a dude tried to menage-ay-twah her way in and it should have been an awesome jaw dropping sight, except it wasn't. did nothing for me. in fact i made the effort to be facing the opposite way most the time. guess hermit mode and general discontent with things in general has served to emasculate me. or maybe i was just too tired and had a head ache and it was my time of the month so not tonight honey.

essay due tommorow, and no one will shout at me if i don't hand it in. sometimes i wonder if a domineering girlfriend would in fact be a good thing. this cash cow needs driving baby. and maybe a bit of milking (IN YOUR ENDO)

thought of the day-hardly seems fair that we think people who can express themselves well feel more than we do

thought of the day

work, drink, drink at work

the weekend of dooooooooom is over (fri-4 till 11.30 sat-10 till 11 sun-10 till 10.30) and obviously i had to go out and spend all my hard earned tips on alcohol. and now i feel fair shit, but it was a required catharsis. and have just realised that working in a kitchen means you do in fact actually have all the ingridients for a prairie oyster. and yes its only cause of cowboy bebop. i think the world would be a far better place if we all copied anime and flew about with ridiculous hair shooting energy balls at each other, with women with huge jugs wearing impracticle clothing.

was a bloody stressful shift yesterday anyways. BOTH fryers broke (bet jamie oliver sabotaged em) and the schizothrenic chef was being particularly loud. and for some reason i have become quite shite at my job. maybe i always was and just didn't realise it. still my employment is secure for i have a sweet hockey bod and my bosses are gay. strangely enough though, most of the sexual harrasement comes from the straight dudes. I am....THE TURNER. works on lesbians to doncha know

so anyhoo, i've prob earned a fair bit of cash now (and still haven't claimed my tax rebate) BUT my bank card is still in hiatus and i seem to have misplaced all forms of ID, so i've been mostly living off my tips, making exciting purchases such as hobo drunky juice (koppenberg and vodka) and comic books about a soviet superman. Too hung over for essays so today has been well spent looking up pish online, formulating Lost and Naruto theories (Jacob is Tobi!!!) how cool am I?

todays slice of cool http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXlhLIU4QFU

showering away the shame and conditioning the ego

I got on a bus jam packed full of people the other day, and i think its the last time i shall be doing so. being a fairly big person (ooooh god i'm so fat!) means i can't really move much if the bus is full, so of course i missed my stop. but! the main qualm was the old women. they ram into you full speed muttering bitter somethings in your ear as they pass. also several times when they apparently "stumbled" they-being of diminished height-used my groin as a means of steadying themselves. i can only be groped 3 and a half times a day before a crippleing sense of shame and violation grips me (like the old women did)

in other news i've cut my finger fairly deep and reckon there'll be another handsome scar to add to the collection. More scars=more manlyess=more women. thats scienc that is. can't do it on purpose of course, thats just a whole my chemically romanced road we don't want to limp down.

and it turns out that yes, you do get black albinos

sleep is for the weak!

and i have a will of jelly

remember when we all had amnesia?

me neither. and now to re-iter-ate the various goings on of bob.

I worked. and will be working full time over the two week easter holidays. which in some ways is good, cause i intend to go abroad this summer-it being two years since i've been out the country. i've kinda outgrown summering with my international jet setting parents and am quite happy with the numerous t-shirts they bring back. man has to cut loose and form new bonds or some crap like that. maybe throw in a metaphore about babies and swaddling (which conviently doubles as a lost reference) Instead it'll be a lads lad holiday, where we will do intensely manly things like shun sun tan lotion and contract genital warts from disreputably bussiness women. though with our organizational skills being slightly and unfairly less than the fairer sex, things may just peeter out into a what could have been scene.

soeaking of the lads...the spare bedroom has been violated. twice in two nights. also who has a bath at 4 am! slightly abusing my hospitality guys. i'd contemplate revenge but am far to lazy and it strikes me as being a bit unhygenic. still, we live and learn to live with life. beats the alternative then desecrates its corpse.

thought of the day-angel delight can make you feel surpising bloated