Back home, being a damn good host and making sandwiches for guests whilst people have a jolly old time sucking at halo without me. Xmas came and went with the usual forced fanfair that it does in this household. we view it as something to be tollerated rather than enjoyed, like alternative art, or a really ugly hooker. BUT new years is fast approaching and that is where the action is a as far as I'm concerned.
In factoid, I was thinking about having a bit of shin diggery at xmas, and shall make feeble attempts to contact people who's company i only enjoy when under the influence (My mum feels the same way about me) Was surpised to have new years of work actually, certainly wouldn't mind the mula, double time double kill. Ended up applying for a student loan, despite atempts not to. on the plus i have more money in my account than any other family member. On the minus a grand total of £2200 needs to eventually be payed back. which sounds bad until you hear how bad other students suck with finance.
Wikipedia has fallen from grace lately, party because no tutor will respect it as a reference, and partly because of my discovery of conservipedia (the truthful encyclodpedia) Does anyone else in higher education suspect that the only reason lecturous lecturerers lecture is to hear all your good ideas (such as comparing corilanus to achilies) and then writing them in their own exciting dynamic papers
Monday, 29 December 2008
Monday, 22 December 2008
Epic Fail!
Why why why why didn't i just listen to my mother and buy her perfume? who'd have thought buying for a young lady would be such a minefield. Striding around feminine shops looking at feminine things and feeling very very out of place. ah well done is done and you know what? they were damn nice slipper socks (with enhanced grip and enforced heels!) Am I joking about this? maybe, maybe not. I'm a terrible liar anyway, so i make up for it by lying compulsively. WOLF!
I saw twilight. A film based on a book written by a mormon about vampires, but really about the dangers of having pre marital relations. also has a lot of racial purity going on in it. For the highschool prom the black guy ends up with the black girl, the jock with the cheerleader, and that asin kid better not even think about asking anyone else than a nice chinise girl down the road. plus indians gotta stay on their reservation.
Also, i have concluded that God is in fact an atheist. Reasons? well to beleive in any god requires just that-belief. And certainty of something isn't really belief, its knowedge. and what is god? Omninicient-all knowing. when you know everything you can't believe in anything.
thought of the day-remember farscape? How GOOD was that. well until they got to earth at least
I saw twilight. A film based on a book written by a mormon about vampires, but really about the dangers of having pre marital relations. also has a lot of racial purity going on in it. For the highschool prom the black guy ends up with the black girl, the jock with the cheerleader, and that asin kid better not even think about asking anyone else than a nice chinise girl down the road. plus indians gotta stay on their reservation.
Also, i have concluded that God is in fact an atheist. Reasons? well to beleive in any god requires just that-belief. And certainty of something isn't really belief, its knowedge. and what is god? Omninicient-all knowing. when you know everything you can't believe in anything.
thought of the day-remember farscape? How GOOD was that. well until they got to earth at least
Tuesday, 16 December 2008
pretending pretensions mk2
Once again for journalism. once again only pretending to have an opinion
When exactly is fully developed?
Few subjects have attracted as much controversy as the development of stem cell research. There are a huge number of issues surrounding it, be they political, religious ethical or medical. Although on the surface it may seem like essentially all the same issues that accompany abortion, i.e. pro lifers defending the rights of embryos, angrily declaring that they have all the rights of a normal human, the reality is far more complex.
The main problem is that the arguments rarely keep up with the technological breakthroughs that are being made. Few people have a well grounded understanding as to what stem cell research actually entails. The reason why Stem cell research is such a highly debated subject is the public perception of it. It is seen as creating life for the sole purpose of destroying it, subverting the natural order.
For understanding this, it is important that we understand what exactly a stem cell is. Stem cells are cells that can, with correct hormone signals and chemical stimulation can proliferate into any kind of cell. And in turn, an organ is a collection of one type of cell. So, in effect, stem cells can be grown into any part of a human body.
There are two main types of stem cell, adult and embryonic. Adult stem cells can be used to repair and maintain damaged tissues. Also like Embryonic stem cells they can differentiate into different cell types. However their ability to do this is limited, and often restricted to one type or line. By contrast Embryonic stem cells can differentiate into any cell line, giving them a far wider range of applications
Less controversial sources of stem cells can be located in an individual’s bone marrow, or umbilical cord blood. Problems do exist with these, few people wish to donate their bone marrow due to the great pain caused by its extraction, and only a relatively small quantity of cells can be extracted from umbilical cords and amniotic fluids. Scientists have also made limited progress in the reverse engineering of Embryonic stem cells from everyday normal somatic cells that are found within you and me. If they succeed then public opinion could swing rapidly. After all, almost no one criticises blood donning.
Religious qualms, particularly in the catholic faith, centre around the idea that man is trying to play god through such pursuits. Recently The Vatican's Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, which oversees Catholic Doctrine, issued "The Dignity of a Person" to help answer bioethical questions that have emerged in the two decades since its last such document was published.
The new document clearly and concisely states it’s condemnation of embryonic stem cell research and in vitro fertilization. Yet it does allow for some use of vaccines derived from stem cell lines and some forms of gene therapy. While a cynic like myself might wonder if this is to combat the so called “gay genes,” it does reflect the growing trend for gradual acceptance for such research.
Conversely though, Islam adopts a very different view. Sharî'ah law currently permits married couples to have in vitro fertilization provided the egg and sperm do not come from donors. Also, a distinction is made between “potential life” and “actual life,” namely that actual life begins at roughly 40 days of conception. Some experts, such as Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi claim that because of this, stem cell research is permissible within the Islamic faith. However, he also has views about its strict regulation. “The use of embryonic stem cells should be very heavily limited. Only allow isolation of stem cells from frozen embryos that were created for the purpose of in vitro fertilization and would otherwise have been destroyed. Obtain full consent from the donors. Provide safeguards against monetary compensation to embryo donors and against the creation of embryos in excess of what is required for in vitro fertilization”
One other issue surrounding stem cell research is that many see it as a precursor to human cloning. Research has already been conducted into creating embryonic stem cells via early developmental cloning and with Dolly the sheep we even had a live example of a successful cloning technique. Basically the point is that they have a cyclical effect upon each other, and that increased application of one will result in increased application of the other. It’s a side of the debate that rarely gets examined, but a hugely important one none the less.
We are told that the medical benefits of stem cell research are staggering, capable of curing seemingly every disease known to man, from cancer to hair loss. But is it really the miracle cure that we have been promised. Sceptics say that embryonic stem cells often have a high chance of being rejected by the host’s immune system, in the same way that organ transplants fail. But animal testing has given positive results, with dogs being effectively treated for brain tumours via the injection of adult stem cells. Though you may not realise it, there have already been several successful human applications of stem, cell research, such as bone marrow transplants.
In America there are a number of stem cell lines available, yet President Bush has repeatedly vetoed bills proposing the creation and funding of new lines and limited funding to existing lines. The E.U is heavily divided on the issue as well, with research being non permissible in a number of countries like Austria, Denmark, France and Germany.
Britain has had a slightly more comfortable history with stem cell research than America and other European countries. In 2002 The UK stem cell bank was founded at the National Institute for Biological Standards and Control (NIBSC) with the aim of housing and developing stem cell lines. NIBSC is a publicly-funded scientific organisation whose function is to assess the quality and safety of biological medicines such as vaccines and blood products.
Scotland itself now has its own base of stem cell research. The Centre for Regenerative Medicine (CRM), at the University of Edinburgh is one of the leading proponents in the research and application of stem cell research. Construction is
currently underway for a new centre of research in Little France. The £59M building has received substantial funding from the Scottish Executive and Scottish Enterprise. It would be a reasonable assumption to think that this will see further support by the Scottish executive of such research, as well as shifting international focus towards Scotland itself, though unsurprisingly Alex Salmond is keeping very quiet on the issue.
You may be interested to know that the vast majority of patents for human embryonic stem cell research belongs to just one organisation, the Wisconsin Alumni Research Foundation (WARF) And the interesting thing about WARF is that while they freely allow academic study of stem cell research, for any sort of commercial use there is a charge. Very recently though, the legality of their patenting has come under challenge, and should any legal dispute go badly for them, then we could see a rapid increase in the commercial use of stem cells.
In fact, if you want an example of a country that has successfully applied stem cell research then look to China. The majority of its stem cell lines have been harvested from the umbilical cord blood of live births, again sidestepping controversy. Treatments are readily available for such diseases as multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s, and many medical tourists enter the country to take advantage of this.
Like it or not, it seems further research into the field of both adult and embryonic stem cells is inevitable. Perhaps the ethical issues will neatly resolve themselves as different methods of acquiring stem cells are discovered, or maybe a very blurred line between right and wrong will come about. Only in the fullness of time will we see if the medical results cause any great social change.
When exactly is fully developed?
Few subjects have attracted as much controversy as the development of stem cell research. There are a huge number of issues surrounding it, be they political, religious ethical or medical. Although on the surface it may seem like essentially all the same issues that accompany abortion, i.e. pro lifers defending the rights of embryos, angrily declaring that they have all the rights of a normal human, the reality is far more complex.
The main problem is that the arguments rarely keep up with the technological breakthroughs that are being made. Few people have a well grounded understanding as to what stem cell research actually entails. The reason why Stem cell research is such a highly debated subject is the public perception of it. It is seen as creating life for the sole purpose of destroying it, subverting the natural order.
For understanding this, it is important that we understand what exactly a stem cell is. Stem cells are cells that can, with correct hormone signals and chemical stimulation can proliferate into any kind of cell. And in turn, an organ is a collection of one type of cell. So, in effect, stem cells can be grown into any part of a human body.
There are two main types of stem cell, adult and embryonic. Adult stem cells can be used to repair and maintain damaged tissues. Also like Embryonic stem cells they can differentiate into different cell types. However their ability to do this is limited, and often restricted to one type or line. By contrast Embryonic stem cells can differentiate into any cell line, giving them a far wider range of applications
Less controversial sources of stem cells can be located in an individual’s bone marrow, or umbilical cord blood. Problems do exist with these, few people wish to donate their bone marrow due to the great pain caused by its extraction, and only a relatively small quantity of cells can be extracted from umbilical cords and amniotic fluids. Scientists have also made limited progress in the reverse engineering of Embryonic stem cells from everyday normal somatic cells that are found within you and me. If they succeed then public opinion could swing rapidly. After all, almost no one criticises blood donning.
Religious qualms, particularly in the catholic faith, centre around the idea that man is trying to play god through such pursuits. Recently The Vatican's Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, which oversees Catholic Doctrine, issued "The Dignity of a Person" to help answer bioethical questions that have emerged in the two decades since its last such document was published.
The new document clearly and concisely states it’s condemnation of embryonic stem cell research and in vitro fertilization. Yet it does allow for some use of vaccines derived from stem cell lines and some forms of gene therapy. While a cynic like myself might wonder if this is to combat the so called “gay genes,” it does reflect the growing trend for gradual acceptance for such research.
Conversely though, Islam adopts a very different view. Sharî'ah law currently permits married couples to have in vitro fertilization provided the egg and sperm do not come from donors. Also, a distinction is made between “potential life” and “actual life,” namely that actual life begins at roughly 40 days of conception. Some experts, such as Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi claim that because of this, stem cell research is permissible within the Islamic faith. However, he also has views about its strict regulation. “The use of embryonic stem cells should be very heavily limited. Only allow isolation of stem cells from frozen embryos that were created for the purpose of in vitro fertilization and would otherwise have been destroyed. Obtain full consent from the donors. Provide safeguards against monetary compensation to embryo donors and against the creation of embryos in excess of what is required for in vitro fertilization”
One other issue surrounding stem cell research is that many see it as a precursor to human cloning. Research has already been conducted into creating embryonic stem cells via early developmental cloning and with Dolly the sheep we even had a live example of a successful cloning technique. Basically the point is that they have a cyclical effect upon each other, and that increased application of one will result in increased application of the other. It’s a side of the debate that rarely gets examined, but a hugely important one none the less.
We are told that the medical benefits of stem cell research are staggering, capable of curing seemingly every disease known to man, from cancer to hair loss. But is it really the miracle cure that we have been promised. Sceptics say that embryonic stem cells often have a high chance of being rejected by the host’s immune system, in the same way that organ transplants fail. But animal testing has given positive results, with dogs being effectively treated for brain tumours via the injection of adult stem cells. Though you may not realise it, there have already been several successful human applications of stem, cell research, such as bone marrow transplants.
In America there are a number of stem cell lines available, yet President Bush has repeatedly vetoed bills proposing the creation and funding of new lines and limited funding to existing lines. The E.U is heavily divided on the issue as well, with research being non permissible in a number of countries like Austria, Denmark, France and Germany.
Britain has had a slightly more comfortable history with stem cell research than America and other European countries. In 2002 The UK stem cell bank was founded at the National Institute for Biological Standards and Control (NIBSC) with the aim of housing and developing stem cell lines. NIBSC is a publicly-funded scientific organisation whose function is to assess the quality and safety of biological medicines such as vaccines and blood products.
Scotland itself now has its own base of stem cell research. The Centre for Regenerative Medicine (CRM), at the University of Edinburgh is one of the leading proponents in the research and application of stem cell research. Construction is
currently underway for a new centre of research in Little France. The £59M building has received substantial funding from the Scottish Executive and Scottish Enterprise. It would be a reasonable assumption to think that this will see further support by the Scottish executive of such research, as well as shifting international focus towards Scotland itself, though unsurprisingly Alex Salmond is keeping very quiet on the issue.
You may be interested to know that the vast majority of patents for human embryonic stem cell research belongs to just one organisation, the Wisconsin Alumni Research Foundation (WARF) And the interesting thing about WARF is that while they freely allow academic study of stem cell research, for any sort of commercial use there is a charge. Very recently though, the legality of their patenting has come under challenge, and should any legal dispute go badly for them, then we could see a rapid increase in the commercial use of stem cells.
In fact, if you want an example of a country that has successfully applied stem cell research then look to China. The majority of its stem cell lines have been harvested from the umbilical cord blood of live births, again sidestepping controversy. Treatments are readily available for such diseases as multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson’s, and many medical tourists enter the country to take advantage of this.
Like it or not, it seems further research into the field of both adult and embryonic stem cells is inevitable. Perhaps the ethical issues will neatly resolve themselves as different methods of acquiring stem cells are discovered, or maybe a very blurred line between right and wrong will come about. Only in the fullness of time will we see if the medical results cause any great social change.
Monday, 15 December 2008
The best Idea ever
And i'm too lazy to do anything about it. Also, historically, different people tend to have the same great idea at roughly the same time. Hence all the debate about who invented what or discovered what.
Anyhoo, the best idea ever is an X-men/wolverine-Aliens cross over single shot graphic novel. Why such a great idea? Well with wolverines accelerated healing, you can have really awsome scenes where a chest burster blast right through him and he heals back up. hell make him stab himself in an effort to kill it while it's in him, only for the acid blood to melt through him. HOWEVER because aliens assume characteristics of their hosts, then this one has awesome healing too!
So there they are, both slicing each other apart and melting and regenerating when who should come in? No not wepon X! alien gets captured by canadian governentment and it too is grafted an adamantium skeleton. except Aliens of course have EXOSKELETONS!
I will make no money at all from my great idea. but remember where you saw it first!
Anyhoo, the best idea ever is an X-men/wolverine-Aliens cross over single shot graphic novel. Why such a great idea? Well with wolverines accelerated healing, you can have really awsome scenes where a chest burster blast right through him and he heals back up. hell make him stab himself in an effort to kill it while it's in him, only for the acid blood to melt through him. HOWEVER because aliens assume characteristics of their hosts, then this one has awesome healing too!
So there they are, both slicing each other apart and melting and regenerating when who should come in? No not wepon X! alien gets captured by canadian governentment and it too is grafted an adamantium skeleton. except Aliens of course have EXOSKELETONS!
I will make no money at all from my great idea. but remember where you saw it first!
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
these ARE the droids you're looking for
All you can eat at china buffet king followed by all you can drink at the pub turns out to leave you feeling pretty damn crap in the stomach department. Still, got my essay in today, only a mere day late and a mere 100 words short. made a few impressive points about how allegorical myth gave rise to the metaphysical poets, except that wasn't anything to do with the question. also learned about "Sprezzaturra" which is how i live my life.
Time for some relgion! Original sin was the first independant and wholly original act of mankind (save Adam getting to name everything-thereby cementing it's nature) and the eating of the fruit of knowelge was the first act of free will, so kudos to eve who kind of got the shit end of the stick when it all hit the fan. Though i will still rip the piss out of any feminist that blames me for the penis glass ceiling.
thought of the day-Why is it the bigger man that always has to bend his will (and back) to all the small people?
Time for some relgion! Original sin was the first independant and wholly original act of mankind (save Adam getting to name everything-thereby cementing it's nature) and the eating of the fruit of knowelge was the first act of free will, so kudos to eve who kind of got the shit end of the stick when it all hit the fan. Though i will still rip the piss out of any feminist that blames me for the penis glass ceiling.
thought of the day-Why is it the bigger man that always has to bend his will (and back) to all the small people?
Tuesday, 9 December 2008
Remember this???
over a year old, so be gentle...
Jim had drunk a lot, and thus needed a wizz sooooo bad. Hence he was not entirely observant of the sign that hung above the door. His friend Stewart, or stew the lying bastard as he was better known to his friends, had simply pointed him there and Jim had stupidly taken his word for it. He really should have known something was up when he saw that there were no stalls in the room, but the deadly combination of full bladder, weak bladder AND shy bladder prevented him from giving the problem his full attention. And now he was trapped, like a rat in a toilet cubicle in the women’s bathroom. Stuck Behind enemy lines, surrounded by hostile forces. No doubt feminists with scissors, knowing his luck. They had come in before he was done, laughing and talking about strange, womany concepts that scared him. Such things man was not meant to know.
Of course he could have simply walked out and explained the whole thing, but he had the misfortune of being nicknamed Jim the dirty pervert, for no other reason than he had 3 times walked in on his flat mate having sex. To be perfectly fair only 1 of those had been on purpose. His reputation would only be further cemented by this…misunderstanding, despite his best of intentions that all he wanted to do was siphon the python, with a 20% chance of hand washing afterwards.
Righto JimBob, aint no sense worrying about this problem. What we gotta do is solve it, with James Bond suaveness and Solid Snake sneakyness. Look around man, see what you have at your disposal? What would Magyver do?
Jim nodded to his internal monologue, which always seemed to be ahead of him. He scanned the cubicle for something, anything that could be used to help him out of this predicament. The toilet! Maybe a man could, with a bit of effort, squeeze himself down through the plumbing and swim his way to safety. Jim stared a long time down it, weighing his chances. He was about to try and stick his leg down it when he realized something vitally important. He had not yet flushed. Then something else struck him. The idea was stupid.
Bah, good plans are so hard to come up with when you’re incredibly drunk
Jim nodded bitterly in agreement. He resumed his scanning of his prison. What he really needed…was to look like a woman! Maybe, just maybe by stripping that toilet brush of its bristles for hair, constructing a dress out of toilet paper and using addition paper for cleavage…
Good, good. You’re on to something here, just a bit more…
“There” he muttered, after 10 minutes of cosmetic surgery. Unfortunately he had ran out of toilet paper at the final stages, so rather than being his preferred cup size of DD, he as a slightly more lop sided AC.
He looked over himself critically, thinking what a good job he had done. Had their actually been a mirror present he would have reconsidered this opinion. He braced himself for the coming challenge
Ok Jim, remember. Sway those hips, pout them lips, and for gods sake look graceful! Like 2 swans effortless mating upon the still frozen lake of early spring. Now…show time.
He opened the door and flounced out. Two young women, who had been touching up their makeup, glanced at him in mixed horror and bemusement.
“Hey girlfriends” he crooned, unable to resist abusing his brief gender swap. “Did you see that hunk out there called Jim? I dunno about you’s but I’d certainly give him one night to remember!”
He winked at them both and departed, amazed at his own ingenuity. Outside he found Stew.
“Hey man, them unisex toilets are pretty far out eh?” Strew told him “Girls and guys pissing together. It’s like we’re living in the future man! You’re covered in toilet paper by the way. Did someone jump you?”
Jim looked at him for a long, long time, before he finally said, “Shut up stud and buy me a drink”
Jim had drunk a lot, and thus needed a wizz sooooo bad. Hence he was not entirely observant of the sign that hung above the door. His friend Stewart, or stew the lying bastard as he was better known to his friends, had simply pointed him there and Jim had stupidly taken his word for it. He really should have known something was up when he saw that there were no stalls in the room, but the deadly combination of full bladder, weak bladder AND shy bladder prevented him from giving the problem his full attention. And now he was trapped, like a rat in a toilet cubicle in the women’s bathroom. Stuck Behind enemy lines, surrounded by hostile forces. No doubt feminists with scissors, knowing his luck. They had come in before he was done, laughing and talking about strange, womany concepts that scared him. Such things man was not meant to know.
Of course he could have simply walked out and explained the whole thing, but he had the misfortune of being nicknamed Jim the dirty pervert, for no other reason than he had 3 times walked in on his flat mate having sex. To be perfectly fair only 1 of those had been on purpose. His reputation would only be further cemented by this…misunderstanding, despite his best of intentions that all he wanted to do was siphon the python, with a 20% chance of hand washing afterwards.
Righto JimBob, aint no sense worrying about this problem. What we gotta do is solve it, with James Bond suaveness and Solid Snake sneakyness. Look around man, see what you have at your disposal? What would Magyver do?
Jim nodded to his internal monologue, which always seemed to be ahead of him. He scanned the cubicle for something, anything that could be used to help him out of this predicament. The toilet! Maybe a man could, with a bit of effort, squeeze himself down through the plumbing and swim his way to safety. Jim stared a long time down it, weighing his chances. He was about to try and stick his leg down it when he realized something vitally important. He had not yet flushed. Then something else struck him. The idea was stupid.
Bah, good plans are so hard to come up with when you’re incredibly drunk
Jim nodded bitterly in agreement. He resumed his scanning of his prison. What he really needed…was to look like a woman! Maybe, just maybe by stripping that toilet brush of its bristles for hair, constructing a dress out of toilet paper and using addition paper for cleavage…
Good, good. You’re on to something here, just a bit more…
“There” he muttered, after 10 minutes of cosmetic surgery. Unfortunately he had ran out of toilet paper at the final stages, so rather than being his preferred cup size of DD, he as a slightly more lop sided AC.
He looked over himself critically, thinking what a good job he had done. Had their actually been a mirror present he would have reconsidered this opinion. He braced himself for the coming challenge
Ok Jim, remember. Sway those hips, pout them lips, and for gods sake look graceful! Like 2 swans effortless mating upon the still frozen lake of early spring. Now…show time.
He opened the door and flounced out. Two young women, who had been touching up their makeup, glanced at him in mixed horror and bemusement.
“Hey girlfriends” he crooned, unable to resist abusing his brief gender swap. “Did you see that hunk out there called Jim? I dunno about you’s but I’d certainly give him one night to remember!”
He winked at them both and departed, amazed at his own ingenuity. Outside he found Stew.
“Hey man, them unisex toilets are pretty far out eh?” Strew told him “Girls and guys pissing together. It’s like we’re living in the future man! You’re covered in toilet paper by the way. Did someone jump you?”
Jim looked at him for a long, long time, before he finally said, “Shut up stud and buy me a drink”
JETSOOOOOOON!
Had to do a character sketch off the cuff for journalism. behold my pa
My old man has a catch all angry look, and it’s a pretty good one, able to silence small children and make older people wary. It’s all about the eyes, wide and crazy and arched by a sever brow. Most times it’s more put on than genuine rage, and you can spot a wry smile beginning to curl its way up his mouth. He uses it as a tool rather than an expression, just try talking over a favourite program of his and watch him turn it on you.
Then again, he has mellowed some in his golden grey years. And as such he has developed a new look, one of exasperated reproach. This is helped in no small way by the addition of reading glasses, softening the blows of his brow bashing. He now peers over them with disdain for the latest sheer stupidity he has bore witness to.
The glasses used to be a bit of sore point, and he was loathe to buy them, but necessity generally wins over conceit. And now I reckon he has grown rather attached to them, filling the role of world weary intellectual as he proudly announces that it only took him four weeks to finish the da vinci code.
My old man has a catch all angry look, and it’s a pretty good one, able to silence small children and make older people wary. It’s all about the eyes, wide and crazy and arched by a sever brow. Most times it’s more put on than genuine rage, and you can spot a wry smile beginning to curl its way up his mouth. He uses it as a tool rather than an expression, just try talking over a favourite program of his and watch him turn it on you.
Then again, he has mellowed some in his golden grey years. And as such he has developed a new look, one of exasperated reproach. This is helped in no small way by the addition of reading glasses, softening the blows of his brow bashing. He now peers over them with disdain for the latest sheer stupidity he has bore witness to.
The glasses used to be a bit of sore point, and he was loathe to buy them, but necessity generally wins over conceit. And now I reckon he has grown rather attached to them, filling the role of world weary intellectual as he proudly announces that it only took him four weeks to finish the da vinci code.
Thursday, 4 December 2008
whimsical xmas list
A replica of josephs technicoloured dream coat
A jane cobb hat
rubber aligator
fluffy bunny slippers
All of avatar on dvd
a bubble pipe
a monocule
hungry hungry hippos
A jane cobb hat
rubber aligator
fluffy bunny slippers
All of avatar on dvd
a bubble pipe
a monocule
hungry hungry hippos
fluff
Scene shifts to the next day, in the hustle and bustle of the market
Vendor Fresh fruit! Get your fresh fruit! Red apples and blue berries. White grapes and dark cherries! Buy and try and then buy some more!
Gordo Another Cherrie to pop in my mouth my good sir. A ravenous appetite I have for the things, with their sweet juices in my mouth
Vendor Might you not buy a bunch, rather than a mere morsel at a time
Gordo Ah, but who savours that which is plentiful? It is only through scant rarities that we derive true pleasure. To the parched throat brackish water might taste of sweet nectar. Only to the starving slave does crusty bread seem a meal fit for a king
Beck enters, having overheard this exchange
Beck And only to lonely hearts does cupid’s arrow strike true
Gordo Good morrow my friend, true words be your first this day. Hence my desire to be a moving target, not tied down by any individual affection
Beck And perhaps Cupid might find your heart too small a target for his milky filmed eyes to perceive
Gordo Many other foolish lovers fall afoul of his failing sights. Lovers’ quarrels rise as Cupids quiver lies empty and spent of spite
Beck Ha, the more I hear you speak of him, the more of him I see in you. And was your own spiteful love well spent last night? Any grim satisfaction to be had by the tainting of that young maids clear blue eyes?
Gordo I suspect I am not the first to dip a toe into those shallow depths, though a tasty dish she proved to be. Yet I already feel my appetite coming back to me
Beck How fitting a man who didn’t know his father would end up trying father so many
Gordo Hardly, I left my lady with the gift I leave them all. Red snare herbs. If she makes and drinks the tea no child will she be burdened with.
Beck And if she doesn’t?
Gordo Then I wash my hands of her. The letter I left made clear my intent. No true son am I and no true father I could be.
Beck Quite the romantic, aren’t you
Gordo And quite the son are you. Tell me, has you father found out about his empty breeches where you pursued his purse for gambling purpose.
Beck I have yet borrowed time to pay my borrowed debts. He is out of town on urgent business, leaving us free to reclaim and redeem from this unseemly scene
Gordo But how to go about such a venture? Perhaps with more funds and more cards
Beck No! through honest labour shall we recompense.
Gordo Very well, let us flee and seek some truthful work. Quickly though, for the sun slows for none.
Gordo exits hastily
Beck Strange he be so eager
Vendor What! That swine has made off with my wares! I trust you shall pay his fare !
Beck Tch! I shall good sir…let me just seek coins, in my other breeches!
Beck runs after Gordo. End scene
Vendor Fresh fruit! Get your fresh fruit! Red apples and blue berries. White grapes and dark cherries! Buy and try and then buy some more!
Gordo Another Cherrie to pop in my mouth my good sir. A ravenous appetite I have for the things, with their sweet juices in my mouth
Vendor Might you not buy a bunch, rather than a mere morsel at a time
Gordo Ah, but who savours that which is plentiful? It is only through scant rarities that we derive true pleasure. To the parched throat brackish water might taste of sweet nectar. Only to the starving slave does crusty bread seem a meal fit for a king
Beck enters, having overheard this exchange
Beck And only to lonely hearts does cupid’s arrow strike true
Gordo Good morrow my friend, true words be your first this day. Hence my desire to be a moving target, not tied down by any individual affection
Beck And perhaps Cupid might find your heart too small a target for his milky filmed eyes to perceive
Gordo Many other foolish lovers fall afoul of his failing sights. Lovers’ quarrels rise as Cupids quiver lies empty and spent of spite
Beck Ha, the more I hear you speak of him, the more of him I see in you. And was your own spiteful love well spent last night? Any grim satisfaction to be had by the tainting of that young maids clear blue eyes?
Gordo I suspect I am not the first to dip a toe into those shallow depths, though a tasty dish she proved to be. Yet I already feel my appetite coming back to me
Beck How fitting a man who didn’t know his father would end up trying father so many
Gordo Hardly, I left my lady with the gift I leave them all. Red snare herbs. If she makes and drinks the tea no child will she be burdened with.
Beck And if she doesn’t?
Gordo Then I wash my hands of her. The letter I left made clear my intent. No true son am I and no true father I could be.
Beck Quite the romantic, aren’t you
Gordo And quite the son are you. Tell me, has you father found out about his empty breeches where you pursued his purse for gambling purpose.
Beck I have yet borrowed time to pay my borrowed debts. He is out of town on urgent business, leaving us free to reclaim and redeem from this unseemly scene
Gordo But how to go about such a venture? Perhaps with more funds and more cards
Beck No! through honest labour shall we recompense.
Gordo Very well, let us flee and seek some truthful work. Quickly though, for the sun slows for none.
Gordo exits hastily
Beck Strange he be so eager
Vendor What! That swine has made off with my wares! I trust you shall pay his fare !
Beck Tch! I shall good sir…let me just seek coins, in my other breeches!
Beck runs after Gordo. End scene
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
the worker sells his penis
There are a hell of a lot of asian chicks mailing my bebo account telling me how handsome I am. though susicions are raised when two of them use the same profile picture under different names. I don't really go in for the whole Asian fettish thing myself (racist!) Nor have i ever found black women very attractive. And before anyone Godwins me up and say only Aryan will do for bob, blondes generally get excluded as well.
I should probably stress right now that I have a foxy young lady that puts up with me, and i'm quite happy with the whole situtation. It also proves my theory that good things do happen when you dress up as zorro and drink lots of cider.
Having had various esssay submission (hold) dates mistaken or moved, it turns out that i'm not really in the shit at all. Plus, I'm gradually distinguishing myself too my tutors in class-even if i did reference terry pratchette one time. also note-a marxist reading of harry potter ISN'T very interesting. What IS intresting however, is going through das kapital and replacing every usage of the word labour with the word penis. go on, try it!
"If capitals that set in motion unequal quantities of living labour produce unequal amounts of surplus-value, this assumes that the level of exploitation of labour, or the rate of surplus-value, is the same, at least to a certain extent, or that the distinctions that exist here are balanced out by real or imaginary (conventional) grounds of compensation"
Also, if you substitute capitalist for evil killer robot, then almost no difference is made at all.
Thought of the day-if you want penis advice, ask a gay man
I should probably stress right now that I have a foxy young lady that puts up with me, and i'm quite happy with the whole situtation. It also proves my theory that good things do happen when you dress up as zorro and drink lots of cider.
Having had various esssay submission (hold) dates mistaken or moved, it turns out that i'm not really in the shit at all. Plus, I'm gradually distinguishing myself too my tutors in class-even if i did reference terry pratchette one time. also note-a marxist reading of harry potter ISN'T very interesting. What IS intresting however, is going through das kapital and replacing every usage of the word labour with the word penis. go on, try it!
"If capitals that set in motion unequal quantities of living labour produce unequal amounts of surplus-value, this assumes that the level of exploitation of labour, or the rate of surplus-value, is the same, at least to a certain extent, or that the distinctions that exist here are balanced out by real or imaginary (conventional) grounds of compensation"
Also, if you substitute capitalist for evil killer robot, then almost no difference is made at all.
Thought of the day-if you want penis advice, ask a gay man
Tuesday, 2 December 2008
behind blue eyes
Cabel sat and drank and tried to avoid looking at anyone. He ordered another drink from the barman with his eyes downcast. He liked it here. The place was underground so there were no windows, and no effort was made to cater for women, so no mirrors either.
His dark dark sunglasses slid down his face and he hastily adjusted them. Through the black monochrome that he saw the world, he tried to read his book. He had to hold it very close to his face to make out the words. The cover was gone from it. It had been carefully torn it off when he bought it. Why did authors insist on having their pictures on their work?
The barman, for want of anything else to do, turned the television on and Cabel swivelled on his stool so his back was to it. He was well practised in blocking out certain parts of the world. What he couldn’t block out though, was the rough shove he received that sent him falling off his perch, arms flapping wildly.
Picking himself off the floor, he adjusted his sunglasses again and looked at the big biker boots of the person that had pushed him.
“Yes?” he said
“Why'd you turn your back on the game, you prick?”
“I don’t follow it” he told the boots
“It’s cause we scored, you sectarian bastard. Wasn’t it?”
“No”
“Shut up” The boots arms grabbed him and spun Cabel around so he faced the TV “Now watch the replay of this amazing belter of a goal”
Rough hands ripped Cabel’s sunglasses off and the gloom of the bar pierced his eyes. He blinked rapidly and then shut his lids tight, but not before seeing a whole sea of faces on the TV. He felt sick, like eels and snakes were fighting and fucking in his stomach. He was spun round again.
“Now” said the owner of the big boots and the heavy hands. “Tell me that wasn’t poetry in motion, you wee fuck”
The rapid spinning proved too much for Cabel and he emptied his stomach onto the broad chest in front.
“Sorry” he said, hurriedly bending down to pick up his glasses.
A vicious kick greeted him and the shades were broken against, and with, his nose. Cabel's head shot up in pain and for the first time he met his assailant’s eyes. No no no no…
But it was ok, and he breathed a sign of relief as he received kicks and punches from someone that didn’t have to die.
When the man had left, Cabel picked himself up and went to the bathroom to clean the blood off. He did this in the closed stall with water from the toilet basin, just in case anyone surprised him. reaching into his jacket, he pulled out another pair of opaque glasses from a bundle that hadn't been damaged by the beating. Satisfied with this, he went back out.
The bar had gone silent, except for the sound of channels being changed in rapid succession. And the scratch of someone furiously scribbling down notes. He risked looking up. The barman lay slumped over the table with a knife in his back. And standing over him, nonchalant and with eyes fixed on the TV, was Cabel’s brother, Sain
“Hey coward” Sain said, not shifting his gaze. “Still failing to live up to your gifts I see” he gestured towards the barman. “And I bet you haven’t been doing any homework either” Scribble scribble went the pen.
“What I don’t know can’t hurt or haunt me” Cabel replied
“Then why is your nose broken?” Sain put his notebook away and walked over to him. He grabbed Cabel’s nose and twisted it left with a crack.
“There, good as new” he said, staring right through Cabels sunglasses and into his eyes. Not once had Cabel ever seen his brother blink.
“You disappoint me” Sain went on “Hiding down here from your duties. Not seeing the world as you should” He plucked off Cabels glasses and flung them too the floor.
“I don’t much care for what I see” Cabel replied.
“Judgment is a divine responsibility. And we have both been proven right too many times to question ours. Remember the child you refused to kill, and all the evil and death she wrought?”
“You would not kill her either”
“Well, we were both weak back then. Both hoping that we were wrong or sick in the mind. But while I have grown strong enough to shoulder this burden, you remain weak. And so here I am, to set you back on the right path”
Sain went back to the barman and pulled the knife out. He handed it to Cabel. The handle was fashioned to resemble an eagle, with dark red ruby eyes set in. Cabel stared at it a long time.
“Come brother, there is work to be done” Sain put his arm around Cabels shoulder and steered him to the door. Cabel stopped, and looked his brother dead in the eye.
“I wish you weren’t always right” he said, and thrust the blade through his brothers unblinking gaze. He pushed deeper and harder, bearing the twitching, flailing form to the ground. Push and bleed and push.
He stood up and looked down. One of the rubies had fallen out of the dagger. Cabel gave a grim smile, went to the duke box, and made a selection. It booted up and he sang along with it.
“No one knows what it’s like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes”
He ripped out his eyes from their sockets and put his sunglasses back on. Then he walked out, unwilling and unable to look back. If he could, he would have seen Sain’s one remaining eye give a last twitch in the form of a wink.
Some time later, when a passer by had seen the bodies and made the call, the police and ambulance arrived. A search of Sain’s body revealed he had an organ donor’s card.
His dark dark sunglasses slid down his face and he hastily adjusted them. Through the black monochrome that he saw the world, he tried to read his book. He had to hold it very close to his face to make out the words. The cover was gone from it. It had been carefully torn it off when he bought it. Why did authors insist on having their pictures on their work?
The barman, for want of anything else to do, turned the television on and Cabel swivelled on his stool so his back was to it. He was well practised in blocking out certain parts of the world. What he couldn’t block out though, was the rough shove he received that sent him falling off his perch, arms flapping wildly.
Picking himself off the floor, he adjusted his sunglasses again and looked at the big biker boots of the person that had pushed him.
“Yes?” he said
“Why'd you turn your back on the game, you prick?”
“I don’t follow it” he told the boots
“It’s cause we scored, you sectarian bastard. Wasn’t it?”
“No”
“Shut up” The boots arms grabbed him and spun Cabel around so he faced the TV “Now watch the replay of this amazing belter of a goal”
Rough hands ripped Cabel’s sunglasses off and the gloom of the bar pierced his eyes. He blinked rapidly and then shut his lids tight, but not before seeing a whole sea of faces on the TV. He felt sick, like eels and snakes were fighting and fucking in his stomach. He was spun round again.
“Now” said the owner of the big boots and the heavy hands. “Tell me that wasn’t poetry in motion, you wee fuck”
The rapid spinning proved too much for Cabel and he emptied his stomach onto the broad chest in front.
“Sorry” he said, hurriedly bending down to pick up his glasses.
A vicious kick greeted him and the shades were broken against, and with, his nose. Cabel's head shot up in pain and for the first time he met his assailant’s eyes. No no no no…
But it was ok, and he breathed a sign of relief as he received kicks and punches from someone that didn’t have to die.
When the man had left, Cabel picked himself up and went to the bathroom to clean the blood off. He did this in the closed stall with water from the toilet basin, just in case anyone surprised him. reaching into his jacket, he pulled out another pair of opaque glasses from a bundle that hadn't been damaged by the beating. Satisfied with this, he went back out.
The bar had gone silent, except for the sound of channels being changed in rapid succession. And the scratch of someone furiously scribbling down notes. He risked looking up. The barman lay slumped over the table with a knife in his back. And standing over him, nonchalant and with eyes fixed on the TV, was Cabel’s brother, Sain
“Hey coward” Sain said, not shifting his gaze. “Still failing to live up to your gifts I see” he gestured towards the barman. “And I bet you haven’t been doing any homework either” Scribble scribble went the pen.
“What I don’t know can’t hurt or haunt me” Cabel replied
“Then why is your nose broken?” Sain put his notebook away and walked over to him. He grabbed Cabel’s nose and twisted it left with a crack.
“There, good as new” he said, staring right through Cabels sunglasses and into his eyes. Not once had Cabel ever seen his brother blink.
“You disappoint me” Sain went on “Hiding down here from your duties. Not seeing the world as you should” He plucked off Cabels glasses and flung them too the floor.
“I don’t much care for what I see” Cabel replied.
“Judgment is a divine responsibility. And we have both been proven right too many times to question ours. Remember the child you refused to kill, and all the evil and death she wrought?”
“You would not kill her either”
“Well, we were both weak back then. Both hoping that we were wrong or sick in the mind. But while I have grown strong enough to shoulder this burden, you remain weak. And so here I am, to set you back on the right path”
Sain went back to the barman and pulled the knife out. He handed it to Cabel. The handle was fashioned to resemble an eagle, with dark red ruby eyes set in. Cabel stared at it a long time.
“Come brother, there is work to be done” Sain put his arm around Cabels shoulder and steered him to the door. Cabel stopped, and looked his brother dead in the eye.
“I wish you weren’t always right” he said, and thrust the blade through his brothers unblinking gaze. He pushed deeper and harder, bearing the twitching, flailing form to the ground. Push and bleed and push.
He stood up and looked down. One of the rubies had fallen out of the dagger. Cabel gave a grim smile, went to the duke box, and made a selection. It booted up and he sang along with it.
“No one knows what it’s like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes”
He ripped out his eyes from their sockets and put his sunglasses back on. Then he walked out, unwilling and unable to look back. If he could, he would have seen Sain’s one remaining eye give a last twitch in the form of a wink.
Some time later, when a passer by had seen the bodies and made the call, the police and ambulance arrived. A search of Sain’s body revealed he had an organ donor’s card.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
