Weird Dreamscapes

The small girls ran across the red barren fields of mars, struggling to breathe and in such much pain. Above them unseen satellites traced their movement, waiting to strike them down with angry red light. Bu the girls were smart. Every 50 yards or so they threw small pieces of white bread as far forward as they could, where upon the single sparrows that each had nestled into her hair would eagerly take flight to it. As they flew, all the dumb pigeons that had clawed purchase wherever they could on the girls dresses and skin fluttered off to follow, going high in the air. It was this interference that had so far stopped the satellites from firing. Once all the bread was gone the birds would fly back, claw holds and draw blood from the girls and the whole thing would repeat itself. But the girls were fast running out of both breath and bread. It wouldn’t be long now.

Analize THAT SHIT Freud!

like a bobo outta hell

I peaked on saturday. I said the smartest best most awesome thing i will ever say, and only a few people were around to appreciate it. So lets cheat and use to internet so someone can tell me that i just photoshoped it from elsewhere. Anyhoo here goes. at a flat party several people were wearing kilts. Whilst taking to former flatmate ian i decided we should all play the game "guess what's in Ians sporran!"
"condoms" shouted one hopeful contestant
"Inconceiveable" I replied

..........bah, once again something that i thought was awesome is less so when it actually gets out of my head. In other news i thought it would be funny to send my mum a congratulations on your engagement card in place of a motherdays one. there is no way it'll come back to haunt me.

On st Patricks day I finally got hammered enough to fufil my secret ambition of singing meatloaf on empty orchestra. And I would do anything for love was the selection and lukewarm was the reception. But I made it all the way to the end, which just goes to show that guiness is thick enough to line your voicebox with a protecive layer so all them sharp notes don't rip you to shreds.

Writing contests coming up and confidence is like my steak-medium rare!

Shitty poem

Snorting Pollen off the back of a Queen Bee

I think that
Butterflies are like….
Rockstars!

No wait
It’s not so stupid
If you think about it

After all
They live fast
And die young

Spend their time
Boozing and
Drink Driving

It’s not very responsible
Nor is all their
Casual sex

Sex and booze
Fly away, die
What a life

Sometimes I think
I am like that
But I’m not

I’m just a big hairy
Caterpillar, too lazy
To Transform

Watchmen Review

I don't really like going to the cinema much, the more you go the less of a big deal it is, so I try and make a point of only going to see films that I think are silver screen worthy. And the latest film to which i felt merrited a visit to the land of sticky floors and closed doors was Watchmen. Being a huge fan of the novel I went with the assumption that it would never measure up.

It certainly didn't, but nor did he reveal itself to be disapointingly endowed. some things were done very well indeed. It's descion to be an 18 was a smart one. Action scenes were brually well coreographed and it didn't shun away from the darker aspects of the novel-though seeing a big blue cock every 5 mins was a bit off putting. It was also smart in its cutting of plot conrers to save time-any longer and the film would have outstayed its welcome. And personally i think its intro montage was one of the best i've ever seen. over all the aesthetic look was buffed to a mirrior shine.

Bad points-sometimes it seemed too concerned with sticking EXACTLY to the novel, dialogue was occasionally strained and scenes held long to the point of awkwardness. the soundtrack was hit and miss-sometimes perfect but mainly innapropriate and failed to work.

But what makes watchmen the novel great is the characters-so how did they transfer from page to film

Doc Manhatten was great-his detached sad and lonely presence was conveyed excellently. only flaw was a few of his choicier lines were cut
The commedian was good enough-far too old in his flashback scenes but can't really be blamed for that. again a victim of forced dialogue
Ozymandias-Another great portrayal-smart, suave with just the right amount of moral ambiguity
Nite Owl 2-boring in the novel-boring in the film-can't complain really. apparently has a huge arse according to my girlfriend
silk specter-just there to look hot really. her plot twist wasn't very twisty
and most importantly of all, Roarschark-arguably the main charcter and my biggest dissapointment. he just wasn't butt ugly enough-in appearance and deeds. needed to be more deadpan and emmotionally dead. fighting scenes weren't vicious enough-looked kinda stupid doing kung foo kicks rather than stabbing with forks. and his voice...bah he sounded EXACTLY like batman in the dark knight. too many humerous associations to work. Now he certainly wasn't auful, but he could have been sooooo much better
Oh yeah-Nixon was cool

In summary-Watchmen flirts with awesomeness, buys her plently drinks but never really suceeds in getting her pants off and sealing the deal. Bob gives it 4 outta 5 thumbs up

I'm sorry Paxman, I'm too hungover to answer the question

I've been having problems reading. or more accurately finishing. started loads of books, read none to the end. Still, as long as you can blag your way through the tutorial I guess. But it makes me feel kinda bad. Think I've gotten too attached to the short story narrative-damn you Chekov
and JJ's Dubliners. Though what with St patricks coming soon i should probably be adopting a more pro Irish stance

Been taking some super vitamin mineral supplement thingies lately-a product of me being struck down with illness a week ago, and ashamed to say ive been noticing a difference. Kinda gets me down that I need pills to keep me functioning well, if only i could be arsed maintaing a healthy nutritious diet.

Apparently we're gonna learn about dildos in class next week, maybe bang on about female emmancipation and how technology always gets utilised for pleasure. Maybe I could go on about how lilith got chucked outta Eden cause she always wanted to be on top. God hates women because of the chafe factor.

Thought of the day-University challenge is the least beleiveable program in existence-Do you really think those on it represent your average student.