Really hungover right now, was a to bed at 4am job last night. thats after the 3 mile walk between joes flat and mine. totally owned at drunk chess though, with the wronksie feint dominating all. And i spited the road closure at duke street and solid snaked my way under the fence. EXTREME. also me and stew play "THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND" where you randomly shout that at couples making out to scare the dudes-and possibll the chicks. be awesome to say it to lesbians. saw an urban fox as well, which i take as a sign of good luck.
Apparently i'm on holiday for 2 weeks, but don't much feel it. basically signed by soul to work for one of em-doing 50 hours. still money money money. gotta keep busy and all that. right when all the nice wheather starts as well. reckon my sexy sweat rash will come back-watch out ladies!
speaking of which, if my girlfriend hasn't gone done and bugger off home for 3 weeks. how dare she want to see her parents! totally gonna convert to mormonism when shes away-father coon and brother ashua have been urging me for weeks. Poligamy for all!
thought of the day-A man can spend his entire life thinking of his epitaph
Friday, 3 April 2009
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
Blinkers
Mathew Murdock strode down the street, fully confident in both his progress and his destination. He stared straight ahead, eyes on the prize and no blinking. His focus was so great that he failed entirely to notice the man and the boy coming in from the side, until they were both right upon him. He was not surprised by their appearance however. His peripheral vision often failed him, though it was not something he would give a moments thought to. Anyway, he had been expecting to meet the man that now stood in front of him. They shared the same destination after all.
“Hello Issac” Mathew said, greeting the man warmly and shaking his hand. “Looking forward to the vote?”
The man, who allowed his hand to be shaken, laughed dryly. “Looking forward? No, not really. But at least there are other choices available to me”
“Now now Isaac,” said Mathew, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. “You’ve known for some weeks now that this has been coming. And about time to if you ask me. It really is indecent that a certain type of man is to be excluded from holding public office”
“And I see, quite clearly in fact, that the certain type of man you are referring to is of course yourself” Isaac replied.
“Indeed” said Mathew. “I’ve made little secret of it”
“An enemy in plain sight” muttered Isaac.
“Ha yes very good. But we live in a civilized age, and it is only fair that the disabled have equal access to the opportunity of serving the people as anyone else”
Mathew nodded to himself in agreement but Isaac stared at him incredulously. He gestured to the child, who had been standing patiently at his side, bright eyed and alert. “You remember my son Nathanael?”
Mathew nodded and beamed down at the child.
“Keep watching him then” Isaac told him. Mathew obliged and looked on. He saw Isaac giving a sandwich to the boy. He saw Issac whispering something in his ear and the boy nod. And he saw the boy stride away to a vague harmless looking shape. The rest was indistinct, until the boy returned, empty handed.
“What just happened?” demanded Isaac.
“I don’t know” confessed Mathew. “Nothing important I’m sure”
“Well, I guess that’s just your point of view. Not that I expect you to be troubled by it, self maimed as you are”
“Nope” Mathew said happily. “However, there is something I wanted to say to you” He put his arm around Isaac and drew him away from Nathanael. “Listen,” he said in a confiding tone. “I don’t want to tell you how to raise your son, but don’t you think you’re being cruel? I mean it’s important to protect our children and…”
“Lie to them?” cut in Isaac.
“We think nothing of telling them there’s a large red man coming down the chimney once a year to give them presents. Anyway, if you continue being the kind of parent you are, and letting your son be like that…well I can’t in good conscience allow him to play with my kid. Nathanael’s already upset him several times, and when he comes crying to me and asking why he can’t see what your son does, I have to answer some very awkward questions”
He looked at Isaac beseechingly, and said in an even lower voice “If it’s a question of money…”
Isaac sneered at him “I hear the fashion is now to get Blinkers installed right after the umbilical cord is cut”
“Well it’s certainly convenient, given that you’re right there in the hospital. And they do have a lifetime guarantee on them”
“I guess if you had them since birth, then you would never know of any other world, than the narrow, grey around the edges one that you see in front of you”
“Looking nowhere but ahead means you get there quicker. You’ve seen the great work I’ve done, and how efficient I am about it. I have helped a great number of people, there’s no denying it”
“Only those whom you see eye to eye with”
Mathew finally lost his patience “Look, live your life staring into the shadows and loosing your self in them, but I intend to walk the path of the straight and narrow. And let me tell you, once I take your job, I will have child protection services onto you. It is cruel to let Nathanael see the world as you see it, and we will get him a set of permanent blinkers, like me. And all the pain and suffering that you’ve made him bear witness to, it will all become nothing but a glimmer at the edge of sight. Then we shall see what’s what”
Turing stiffly, he strode down the road towards public office, where the vote would be held. Shaking his head, Isaac walked besides him, though of course Mathew could not see this.
Walking some slight distance behind, Nathanael brought up the rear. When he passed another small wavering shadow, he gave it a little doll he had been given for Christmas but thought too girly for himself. He had heard little of the conversation, and instead had been thinking about the silly thing his gran had told him earlier that day. It made no sense, how could he have his fathers’ eyes?
“Hello Issac” Mathew said, greeting the man warmly and shaking his hand. “Looking forward to the vote?”
The man, who allowed his hand to be shaken, laughed dryly. “Looking forward? No, not really. But at least there are other choices available to me”
“Now now Isaac,” said Mathew, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. “You’ve known for some weeks now that this has been coming. And about time to if you ask me. It really is indecent that a certain type of man is to be excluded from holding public office”
“And I see, quite clearly in fact, that the certain type of man you are referring to is of course yourself” Isaac replied.
“Indeed” said Mathew. “I’ve made little secret of it”
“An enemy in plain sight” muttered Isaac.
“Ha yes very good. But we live in a civilized age, and it is only fair that the disabled have equal access to the opportunity of serving the people as anyone else”
Mathew nodded to himself in agreement but Isaac stared at him incredulously. He gestured to the child, who had been standing patiently at his side, bright eyed and alert. “You remember my son Nathanael?”
Mathew nodded and beamed down at the child.
“Keep watching him then” Isaac told him. Mathew obliged and looked on. He saw Isaac giving a sandwich to the boy. He saw Issac whispering something in his ear and the boy nod. And he saw the boy stride away to a vague harmless looking shape. The rest was indistinct, until the boy returned, empty handed.
“What just happened?” demanded Isaac.
“I don’t know” confessed Mathew. “Nothing important I’m sure”
“Well, I guess that’s just your point of view. Not that I expect you to be troubled by it, self maimed as you are”
“Nope” Mathew said happily. “However, there is something I wanted to say to you” He put his arm around Isaac and drew him away from Nathanael. “Listen,” he said in a confiding tone. “I don’t want to tell you how to raise your son, but don’t you think you’re being cruel? I mean it’s important to protect our children and…”
“Lie to them?” cut in Isaac.
“We think nothing of telling them there’s a large red man coming down the chimney once a year to give them presents. Anyway, if you continue being the kind of parent you are, and letting your son be like that…well I can’t in good conscience allow him to play with my kid. Nathanael’s already upset him several times, and when he comes crying to me and asking why he can’t see what your son does, I have to answer some very awkward questions”
He looked at Isaac beseechingly, and said in an even lower voice “If it’s a question of money…”
Isaac sneered at him “I hear the fashion is now to get Blinkers installed right after the umbilical cord is cut”
“Well it’s certainly convenient, given that you’re right there in the hospital. And they do have a lifetime guarantee on them”
“I guess if you had them since birth, then you would never know of any other world, than the narrow, grey around the edges one that you see in front of you”
“Looking nowhere but ahead means you get there quicker. You’ve seen the great work I’ve done, and how efficient I am about it. I have helped a great number of people, there’s no denying it”
“Only those whom you see eye to eye with”
Mathew finally lost his patience “Look, live your life staring into the shadows and loosing your self in them, but I intend to walk the path of the straight and narrow. And let me tell you, once I take your job, I will have child protection services onto you. It is cruel to let Nathanael see the world as you see it, and we will get him a set of permanent blinkers, like me. And all the pain and suffering that you’ve made him bear witness to, it will all become nothing but a glimmer at the edge of sight. Then we shall see what’s what”
Turing stiffly, he strode down the road towards public office, where the vote would be held. Shaking his head, Isaac walked besides him, though of course Mathew could not see this.
Walking some slight distance behind, Nathanael brought up the rear. When he passed another small wavering shadow, he gave it a little doll he had been given for Christmas but thought too girly for himself. He had heard little of the conversation, and instead had been thinking about the silly thing his gran had told him earlier that day. It made no sense, how could he have his fathers’ eyes?
Thursday, 26 March 2009
Weird Dreamscapes
The small girls ran across the red barren fields of mars, struggling to breathe and in such much pain. Above them unseen satellites traced their movement, waiting to strike them down with angry red light. Bu the girls were smart. Every 50 yards or so they threw small pieces of white bread as far forward as they could, where upon the single sparrows that each had nestled into her hair would eagerly take flight to it. As they flew, all the dumb pigeons that had clawed purchase wherever they could on the girls dresses and skin fluttered off to follow, going high in the air. It was this interference that had so far stopped the satellites from firing. Once all the bread was gone the birds would fly back, claw holds and draw blood from the girls and the whole thing would repeat itself. But the girls were fast running out of both breath and bread. It wouldn’t be long now.
Analize THAT SHIT Freud!
Analize THAT SHIT Freud!
Monday, 23 March 2009
like a bobo outta hell
I peaked on saturday. I said the smartest best most awesome thing i will ever say, and only a few people were around to appreciate it. So lets cheat and use to internet so someone can tell me that i just photoshoped it from elsewhere. Anyhoo here goes. at a flat party several people were wearing kilts. Whilst taking to former flatmate ian i decided we should all play the game "guess what's in Ians sporran!"
"condoms" shouted one hopeful contestant
"Inconceiveable" I replied
..........bah, once again something that i thought was awesome is less so when it actually gets out of my head. In other news i thought it would be funny to send my mum a congratulations on your engagement card in place of a motherdays one. there is no way it'll come back to haunt me.
On st Patricks day I finally got hammered enough to fufil my secret ambition of singing meatloaf on empty orchestra. And I would do anything for love was the selection and lukewarm was the reception. But I made it all the way to the end, which just goes to show that guiness is thick enough to line your voicebox with a protecive layer so all them sharp notes don't rip you to shreds.
Writing contests coming up and confidence is like my steak-medium rare!
"condoms" shouted one hopeful contestant
"Inconceiveable" I replied
..........bah, once again something that i thought was awesome is less so when it actually gets out of my head. In other news i thought it would be funny to send my mum a congratulations on your engagement card in place of a motherdays one. there is no way it'll come back to haunt me.
On st Patricks day I finally got hammered enough to fufil my secret ambition of singing meatloaf on empty orchestra. And I would do anything for love was the selection and lukewarm was the reception. But I made it all the way to the end, which just goes to show that guiness is thick enough to line your voicebox with a protecive layer so all them sharp notes don't rip you to shreds.
Writing contests coming up and confidence is like my steak-medium rare!
Thursday, 19 March 2009
Shitty poem
Snorting Pollen off the back of a Queen Bee
I think that
Butterflies are like….
Rockstars!
No wait
It’s not so stupid
If you think about it
After all
They live fast
And die young
Spend their time
Boozing and
Drink Driving
It’s not very responsible
Nor is all their
Casual sex
Sex and booze
Fly away, die
What a life
Sometimes I think
I am like that
But I’m not
I’m just a big hairy
Caterpillar, too lazy
To Transform
I think that
Butterflies are like….
Rockstars!
No wait
It’s not so stupid
If you think about it
After all
They live fast
And die young
Spend their time
Boozing and
Drink Driving
It’s not very responsible
Nor is all their
Casual sex
Sex and booze
Fly away, die
What a life
Sometimes I think
I am like that
But I’m not
I’m just a big hairy
Caterpillar, too lazy
To Transform
Monday, 9 March 2009
Watchmen Review
I don't really like going to the cinema much, the more you go the less of a big deal it is, so I try and make a point of only going to see films that I think are silver screen worthy. And the latest film to which i felt merrited a visit to the land of sticky floors and closed doors was Watchmen. Being a huge fan of the novel I went with the assumption that it would never measure up.
It certainly didn't, but nor did he reveal itself to be disapointingly endowed. some things were done very well indeed. It's descion to be an 18 was a smart one. Action scenes were brually well coreographed and it didn't shun away from the darker aspects of the novel-though seeing a big blue cock every 5 mins was a bit off putting. It was also smart in its cutting of plot conrers to save time-any longer and the film would have outstayed its welcome. And personally i think its intro montage was one of the best i've ever seen. over all the aesthetic look was buffed to a mirrior shine.
Bad points-sometimes it seemed too concerned with sticking EXACTLY to the novel, dialogue was occasionally strained and scenes held long to the point of awkwardness. the soundtrack was hit and miss-sometimes perfect but mainly innapropriate and failed to work.
But what makes watchmen the novel great is the characters-so how did they transfer from page to film
Doc Manhatten was great-his detached sad and lonely presence was conveyed excellently. only flaw was a few of his choicier lines were cut
The commedian was good enough-far too old in his flashback scenes but can't really be blamed for that. again a victim of forced dialogue
Ozymandias-Another great portrayal-smart, suave with just the right amount of moral ambiguity
Nite Owl 2-boring in the novel-boring in the film-can't complain really. apparently has a huge arse according to my girlfriend
silk specter-just there to look hot really. her plot twist wasn't very twisty
and most importantly of all, Roarschark-arguably the main charcter and my biggest dissapointment. he just wasn't butt ugly enough-in appearance and deeds. needed to be more deadpan and emmotionally dead. fighting scenes weren't vicious enough-looked kinda stupid doing kung foo kicks rather than stabbing with forks. and his voice...bah he sounded EXACTLY like batman in the dark knight. too many humerous associations to work. Now he certainly wasn't auful, but he could have been sooooo much better
Oh yeah-Nixon was cool
In summary-Watchmen flirts with awesomeness, buys her plently drinks but never really suceeds in getting her pants off and sealing the deal. Bob gives it 4 outta 5 thumbs up
It certainly didn't, but nor did he reveal itself to be disapointingly endowed. some things were done very well indeed. It's descion to be an 18 was a smart one. Action scenes were brually well coreographed and it didn't shun away from the darker aspects of the novel-though seeing a big blue cock every 5 mins was a bit off putting. It was also smart in its cutting of plot conrers to save time-any longer and the film would have outstayed its welcome. And personally i think its intro montage was one of the best i've ever seen. over all the aesthetic look was buffed to a mirrior shine.
Bad points-sometimes it seemed too concerned with sticking EXACTLY to the novel, dialogue was occasionally strained and scenes held long to the point of awkwardness. the soundtrack was hit and miss-sometimes perfect but mainly innapropriate and failed to work.
But what makes watchmen the novel great is the characters-so how did they transfer from page to film
Doc Manhatten was great-his detached sad and lonely presence was conveyed excellently. only flaw was a few of his choicier lines were cut
The commedian was good enough-far too old in his flashback scenes but can't really be blamed for that. again a victim of forced dialogue
Ozymandias-Another great portrayal-smart, suave with just the right amount of moral ambiguity
Nite Owl 2-boring in the novel-boring in the film-can't complain really. apparently has a huge arse according to my girlfriend
silk specter-just there to look hot really. her plot twist wasn't very twisty
and most importantly of all, Roarschark-arguably the main charcter and my biggest dissapointment. he just wasn't butt ugly enough-in appearance and deeds. needed to be more deadpan and emmotionally dead. fighting scenes weren't vicious enough-looked kinda stupid doing kung foo kicks rather than stabbing with forks. and his voice...bah he sounded EXACTLY like batman in the dark knight. too many humerous associations to work. Now he certainly wasn't auful, but he could have been sooooo much better
Oh yeah-Nixon was cool
In summary-Watchmen flirts with awesomeness, buys her plently drinks but never really suceeds in getting her pants off and sealing the deal. Bob gives it 4 outta 5 thumbs up
Thursday, 5 March 2009
I'm sorry Paxman, I'm too hungover to answer the question
I've been having problems reading. or more accurately finishing. started loads of books, read none to the end. Still, as long as you can blag your way through the tutorial I guess. But it makes me feel kinda bad. Think I've gotten too attached to the short story narrative-damn you Chekov
and JJ's Dubliners. Though what with St patricks coming soon i should probably be adopting a more pro Irish stance
Been taking some super vitamin mineral supplement thingies lately-a product of me being struck down with illness a week ago, and ashamed to say ive been noticing a difference. Kinda gets me down that I need pills to keep me functioning well, if only i could be arsed maintaing a healthy nutritious diet.
Apparently we're gonna learn about dildos in class next week, maybe bang on about female emmancipation and how technology always gets utilised for pleasure. Maybe I could go on about how lilith got chucked outta Eden cause she always wanted to be on top. God hates women because of the chafe factor.
Thought of the day-University challenge is the least beleiveable program in existence-Do you really think those on it represent your average student.
and JJ's Dubliners. Though what with St patricks coming soon i should probably be adopting a more pro Irish stance
Been taking some super vitamin mineral supplement thingies lately-a product of me being struck down with illness a week ago, and ashamed to say ive been noticing a difference. Kinda gets me down that I need pills to keep me functioning well, if only i could be arsed maintaing a healthy nutritious diet.
Apparently we're gonna learn about dildos in class next week, maybe bang on about female emmancipation and how technology always gets utilised for pleasure. Maybe I could go on about how lilith got chucked outta Eden cause she always wanted to be on top. God hates women because of the chafe factor.
Thought of the day-University challenge is the least beleiveable program in existence-Do you really think those on it represent your average student.
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