all your mucus are belongs to us

By christ I'm Ill. like a friggen leper parrot. intresting side note whatever happened to leperosy? it was quite the in thing during biblicle times but last time i heard about it at all was in the whole thomas covenant books.

So, the best and brightest minds of the writers society met up, with me tagging along, to decide just what the hell are we going to do about the 70 odd signatures that we recived for people wanting to join. I think it should be pointed out that we could easily reduce the amount of effort involved in the whole affair just by not emailing all the males on the list. Still, decsions were made and tasks assigned so work for the greater good is underway. I'm kinda glad no one made me do anything actually, you can bash my self esteem all you want if it means less work on this end. the plan is simple, yet effective. lure them in on some random day with promises of free booze and then POUNCE...

My time tabel for uni this year well well go a bit skew wiffy on account of the fact that i NEED to pick yet another class. thats what you get when you opt to work to buy food rather than tend to lectures kiddies, learn well from my mistake. in fairness though kinda brought it on myself. the plan right now is to do OMG politics. anyone that knows me knows my healthy disdain for such pursuits but what is majorly swaying me is that carol louise is doing it. hence it be warp factor awesome if we ended up on the same class. after allk, don't it always seem to go that you dunno what you got till its gone? answer-7

bah, screw you guys I'm going home and going to bed. also happy birthday that i missed of janes. recover from lung infection soon man.

thought of the day-1 pair of trousers isn't really enough. also whys it a pair-there are two legs ok, but still only 1 over thing

arrogance matched only by ignorance

been a while. thus blogging matches my sex life. ie its quite erratic and many disparaging comments are made. anyhoo

well me and andrew had a swell night out on the town whilst he was in doing his bank spiel. we met up with many females and pointedly made a point of avoiding any kind of romantic entanglements-on account of incest being a bit odd. we saw the dude that sang I am the one and only. I really felt for him because he too had awesome hair.

also just in. all the women and men at the brunswick want me. sometimes i like to kid myself that the waitresses have this bet going round about which one gets to tap this fine pice of ass first. it's a thought that keeps me warm on lonely cold nights when i'm hugging my pillow that i drew a face on. when it comes to women, i'm a bit like that death dumb blind kid from pinball wizard. i don't really know what i'm doing but boy do i do it well. you may think it sounds arroant but then again...

andrew-"will you dance on the table for us olga?"
olga- "not for you. maybe for robert."

i could dress up in a tux and make pretend i was in from russia with love, despite the fact she's from checkland. currently I'm sitting in andaroos flat chatting about chin cock ring things and being blamed for spillages. ross is leaning over my shoulder breathing heavily so its business as usual at that end.

work has been particulalry rough on account of the merchant city festival. tempers and temperatures have both been running high and only some decent live music kept me from breaking down. also me and awesome lee who was able to have a decent convo with me on account of being good and stoned, decided to form a band. she also bought me a bottle of cava and for once in my life i felt rather civilized. then i shotted it through my eyeball.

people keep telling me ginger people have ginger pubes but i reckon they're all just having me on

thought of the day. a secret is like an STD. best thing to do is keep it to yourself.

the problems of bob

Gather round small children that I offered candy to so they'd step into my car, Uncle Bobs about too tell you a fantabulous tale of love, revenge, betrayal and of course the polish ecconomy. ah i do love a good fledging country that only now is starting to recover from both the great war mk 2 and the overt communist oppression that tried to put a strangley strangle mc hold on the freedoms and liberties of the people. but then I lay off the drugs for a while and realise i don't. Ole bobby boy is simpley not capable of love anymore. see i was beaten as a child by younger children. the crippleing shame i feel now may have something to do with my problems, of which are many and varried. top of the list is obviously my man problem and bottom is my fettish for novelty hats that some may well find racially offensive. to them i say this-is it wrong to round up people that look different and force them to build a 40ft statue of you? the answer has elluded me for quite some time.

anyhoo back to the tale. it all started yesterdayish. i woke up thourghly refrshed from a good nights sleep ready to tackle the day with my trademark spunky upbeatness. After spending a few hours in front of the mirror with a comb, my hair and a white hot rod which i use to burn off hairs from my special places ie my eyebrows i was ready to go. not ommiting my usual post breakfast self induced vommiting. Remember girls, you'll only find love if you have a 30inch waist line. so outside I went, greeting all my neighbours in a neighbouly fashion and treating everyone else with barely concealed contempt. The plan was to journey back to see my parents and perhaps rob a homeless person of their few remaining possions. both went off without a hitch and i arrived home with a bottle of white mckays, half a mcdonalds happy meal and a small terrier. needless to say my parents were quite chuffed to see their estranged son again and greeted me with the customary push down the staircase. some find it an odd family tradition but how else can a father show is love to his son???

then best buddy ross called me and asked if i wanted to see a movie to witch i replied "yes!" so i made up a bottle of special cinema juice, got in the car forward slash metal coffin and left. unfortunatly our timing was off and we missed the film but by this point i finished my beverage and was ready for some more public drinking. no one else was though so we journeyed to the pub, where i met old freinds and made some new ones. and wouldn't you know it, the homeless man i robbed happened to be there. i was so glad to see him i almost bought him a drink. But didn't. after a few shots of the buca i was quite ready to dance. it was at this point my memory fails me but i can only assume that i challenged a greedy industrialist to a dance off upon which the fate of the local orphanage hanged and won. then possibly the sexy young female teacher of said orphanage who was also an orphan made sweet sweet love to me. in a rather disturbing manner-calling me daddy a lot. still it takes all sorts to make up the world

thought of the day-women steal dreams

devious beyond mere home owning standards

If you see Kay,
Tell him he may.
See you in tea,
Tell him from me.

Spot the dirty words. took me a while to work out where they actually were but i found em so I did. I went to the arches-a slightly more upmarket club-which paradoxically is located down a particulalry seedy alleyway. went with Dave, Jane, blofelt and canada. it was quite the venture but not really. still me and dave bonded in a manly hetrosexual fashion so i guess some good came of it. Not much else to report really, seems i won't be able to go home home for a while because of work but on the plus something something something. I fear i have slow digestive transit right now and its fairly uncomfortable so i'm just gonna end it there

Thought of the day...money is like sex, tis only a problem if you don't have any.

Awesomeo

Well my kind's been around forever
And I claim to be one of the few
But the lost cause of words
walks away with my nerves
Cause I'm gay as a choir boy for you

You got hair that recalls me of rivers
Runs softly while you dream of you
But your heart is so cold that it shivers
Cause that I know is I'm nothing to you

And I followed you into the party
That no one invited me to
I got so damn drunk and retarded
Fell down the stairs and right into you

But I watched you forget your belongings
And belongings you've got quite a few
I filled up your bag with my longings
And searched through this whole, wide city for you

And we'll walk 'neath the street lamps forever
You'll say you remind me of you
It's so damn cliche that it's clever
It's so fucking false, you think that it's true

I heard that you forgot that we were lovers
And lovers you've got quite a few
But you can't tell one from the other
Now, mama, now you're nothing to you


Two gallants are coming to glasgow, Preforming...somwhere on the 8th of oct! I plan on going obviously but due to the sad fact that no one else likes them i well have to gun it alone..which of course suits their music to a T. irregardless though-any takers?

spike bobagin

Mr Macoodles was walking his poodles
singing as he strode down the lane
from the bushes appeared a heard of deer
and heres what they had to proclaim

"you there sir, you've caused quite a stir
interupting our afternoon tea"
"so shut your trap, now theres a good chap
And we'll let you and your poodles be"

well needless to say, old Macoodles went grey
and nervously he summarised
"I'm sorry my...dear, but I find it quite queer
to learn of beasts that can vocalise"

"But never the less..my singing you detest!?
what unpresedented and shocking gall
If my singing is toff, then lets have a rock off!
and I'll show you all my awesome les paul"

Thus he whipped out his guitar...actually a stratocastar
and busted out one mega tasty schoolin of a lesson
well that shut them up, from to doe up to buck
and they retreated back throughly and thouroughly deafened.

vodka women porn, food optional

Well I didn't start the fire
its always been burning
since the worlds been turning
I didn't light it
But I tried to fight it
....Bet it was gordon with the gas again

tuesday-GOOD. hung out with very good friends for a while. we laughed, we cried and of course we drank. I learned of news that depressed the hell outta me though. and my bladder nearly exploded.
Wednesday was good too. me and dirty joe hung out at mine and made our way through a bottle of captain morgans. I whooped him at videogames and we watched movies and talked of simpler times, when all you had to worry about was the embarrasment of being verbally abused by young children and sexually abused by old men. i suspect once i get to a certain age the situtation will reverse itself, cause everyone knows 14 year olds are whores, made to feel the way that every child shouldn't. Happy birthday, happy birthday.

I've been in an odd frame of mind as of late...maybe the government put something in the water. More likely its been brought on by my (breakfast of captains morgans?) habit of putting on music and listening and staring into space. causes the mind to wander some. Thats really the only time you fully appreciate the whole song, music lyrics and all. Unless its shitty dance drum and bass shit. It's BANISHED from the land. what I absolutley would recomomend to anyone... perhaps say a young indian lady that has taken to reading this sorry excuse for a blog and dreams one day of opening up a bakery/comic shop in poland with me...is some kate walsh. listening to your song never fails to make bob shed just the one manly tear that at the last second i manage to blink back so i don't have to feel its mocking caress across my cheek.

plans for today are working and eating. And we all fall down, theres not enough hours in our days

Sometimes I wish I had the nickname "the Iron liver"

did you kiss the hand that held you down

man oh man i cannot cope with being alone the amount of time that i am in fact alone. last night i was gonna call some friends for a chat out of sheer lonliness but heres the kick in the crouch sports fans...I didn't. It just seemed kinda pathetic to call up people that probably doing more intresting things and saying "talk to meeeeee" And i know its not in the slightest a bad thing to do this but i've always had this slight martyr complex that i have totally learned from my old man. simply put you know your doing the right thing when it makes you miserable to do it. now what kinda a moral code is that to go by? I'm fairly certain andrew has it to and to be blunt sometimes i suspect hes upholdin it in more painful ways that i am

on the subject of brothers i have decided to make more of an effort with jamie. we we're both happy with the casual cruelty and slight indulgence we gave each other for a time, but now both me and andrew are out the house its kinda putting the spot light on his life. simply put i don't think highschool is for him. for most of my time there i hated highschool but sad fact is highschool hates him. it is a place that is fricken geared to castin him out on the peripherary of anything good about it. i really really hope he busts a nut this year on his english and biology and ole bobby boy will be first in line to give uber praise if he sticks it out this year.

on slighty more upbeat sidenote, me and dave played THE MOST AWESOME ACCOUSTIC EVER. 600 smackeroos though so purchasing was not an option for bob in any shape or form. and that was the end of that. still, if i come into money by happenstance, perhaps on my new venture to teach greek receptionists new obscure english words photonically (shoropodist anyone?) then just maybe.

i wish i wasn't lazy to the point i need somone yelling at me to get me to do stuff. if wishes we're fishes we'd all be eatin steak.