the problems of bob

Gather round small children that I offered candy to so they'd step into my car, Uncle Bobs about too tell you a fantabulous tale of love, revenge, betrayal and of course the polish ecconomy. ah i do love a good fledging country that only now is starting to recover from both the great war mk 2 and the overt communist oppression that tried to put a strangley strangle mc hold on the freedoms and liberties of the people. but then I lay off the drugs for a while and realise i don't. Ole bobby boy is simpley not capable of love anymore. see i was beaten as a child by younger children. the crippleing shame i feel now may have something to do with my problems, of which are many and varried. top of the list is obviously my man problem and bottom is my fettish for novelty hats that some may well find racially offensive. to them i say this-is it wrong to round up people that look different and force them to build a 40ft statue of you? the answer has elluded me for quite some time.

anyhoo back to the tale. it all started yesterdayish. i woke up thourghly refrshed from a good nights sleep ready to tackle the day with my trademark spunky upbeatness. After spending a few hours in front of the mirror with a comb, my hair and a white hot rod which i use to burn off hairs from my special places ie my eyebrows i was ready to go. not ommiting my usual post breakfast self induced vommiting. Remember girls, you'll only find love if you have a 30inch waist line. so outside I went, greeting all my neighbours in a neighbouly fashion and treating everyone else with barely concealed contempt. The plan was to journey back to see my parents and perhaps rob a homeless person of their few remaining possions. both went off without a hitch and i arrived home with a bottle of white mckays, half a mcdonalds happy meal and a small terrier. needless to say my parents were quite chuffed to see their estranged son again and greeted me with the customary push down the staircase. some find it an odd family tradition but how else can a father show is love to his son???

then best buddy ross called me and asked if i wanted to see a movie to witch i replied "yes!" so i made up a bottle of special cinema juice, got in the car forward slash metal coffin and left. unfortunatly our timing was off and we missed the film but by this point i finished my beverage and was ready for some more public drinking. no one else was though so we journeyed to the pub, where i met old freinds and made some new ones. and wouldn't you know it, the homeless man i robbed happened to be there. i was so glad to see him i almost bought him a drink. But didn't. after a few shots of the buca i was quite ready to dance. it was at this point my memory fails me but i can only assume that i challenged a greedy industrialist to a dance off upon which the fate of the local orphanage hanged and won. then possibly the sexy young female teacher of said orphanage who was also an orphan made sweet sweet love to me. in a rather disturbing manner-calling me daddy a lot. still it takes all sorts to make up the world

thought of the day-women steal dreams