did you kiss the hand that held you down

man oh man i cannot cope with being alone the amount of time that i am in fact alone. last night i was gonna call some friends for a chat out of sheer lonliness but heres the kick in the crouch sports fans...I didn't. It just seemed kinda pathetic to call up people that probably doing more intresting things and saying "talk to meeeeee" And i know its not in the slightest a bad thing to do this but i've always had this slight martyr complex that i have totally learned from my old man. simply put you know your doing the right thing when it makes you miserable to do it. now what kinda a moral code is that to go by? I'm fairly certain andrew has it to and to be blunt sometimes i suspect hes upholdin it in more painful ways that i am

on the subject of brothers i have decided to make more of an effort with jamie. we we're both happy with the casual cruelty and slight indulgence we gave each other for a time, but now both me and andrew are out the house its kinda putting the spot light on his life. simply put i don't think highschool is for him. for most of my time there i hated highschool but sad fact is highschool hates him. it is a place that is fricken geared to castin him out on the peripherary of anything good about it. i really really hope he busts a nut this year on his english and biology and ole bobby boy will be first in line to give uber praise if he sticks it out this year.

on slighty more upbeat sidenote, me and dave played THE MOST AWESOME ACCOUSTIC EVER. 600 smackeroos though so purchasing was not an option for bob in any shape or form. and that was the end of that. still, if i come into money by happenstance, perhaps on my new venture to teach greek receptionists new obscure english words photonically (shoropodist anyone?) then just maybe.

i wish i wasn't lazy to the point i need somone yelling at me to get me to do stuff. if wishes we're fishes we'd all be eatin steak.