“I miss them. I miss feeling close to God. Belonging to something bigger than myself. And I am so sick and tired of being alone. Drifting further away from friends and being too proud and too lazy to swim back.”
Jack “Makes us feel real special when you go on like that right in front of us boy”
Glen “Aye ya bastard. And there’ll be no talk of the big yin whilst I’m aboot”
“They say we are all a little god to ourselves. Granting our own self serving prayers. Condemning and forgiving on a whim. Casting down those that just don’t measure up. Oh man my heads hurts. Better take my medicine. When you got a condition like I do it’s a bad idea to not take your medicine”
Glen “…You know you’re in trouble when you wash down pills with booze”
“Whatever takes the edge off the day and the rust off the night. I’ll stop when my mind hushes”
Glen “And the worms ate into his brain, ya wee pussy. Only reason I drink is to avoid getting a job”
Jack “Back home we have a fine ole tradition of drinking to stop thinking”
“As well as slavery and abuse of women”
Glen “Ha, stuck it to ya there ya fat yank”
Jack “Racism and wife beating bein entirely foreign to this here neck of the woods eh?”
“Lads lads. Let’s try for a bit of transatlantic tolerance eh. There’s so much our cultures could take and forcefully give to each other.”
Jack “well Sah, I propose we send all the ugly over to your country and take in all the foxy”
Glen “Don’t be daft, Scotland’s obese, aint no one foxy to take”
Jack “The U S of A aint?”
“And here’s me thinking it’s about what’s in the inside”
Jack “Inside the pants. You need yourself a woman boy. They might cost a tidy sum to maintain, but they almost always cause less damage to your liver”
“True, they tend to aim a bit higher…or a bit lower. I do miss having someone to hold though. Winters coming and the bed is oh so cold”
Glen “He just needs a shag. Absence makes the cock grow fonder”
“Yet e’re it causes the hand to wander…”
Jack “Wow, slow down boy. Least wait till we’re gone fore you whip out your .40”
“Hmm, you might be right. Well gentlemen, it has been an absolute pleasure but I fear it is time to retire”
He picked u up his two friends and carefully made his way to the kitchen. Once there he opened the fridge and put them back
“Night guys”
“Donde esta el bibliotech pedro?”
“Quiet Jose. It’s not my fault there was no salt or lime”
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