Lets think carefully of something impulsive to do!

Well, as expected nothing awesome has come of the holiday so far. in fact, being the subtle self harmer that i am, i even agreed to come back to work a day earlier. still there have been moments of not lameness, which i shall now regail you with.

First up was dead mans jacket night, where assorted people wore cheapo suit tops bought from the salvation army, for the bargin price of 4.50. hell there was even a free pen inside the pocket of mine. and in ross's there was a antique WW2 condom bearing the legend "You can't beat the axis if you get VD!" except i made that part up.

and pretty much since then its just been extreme liver abuse. and yes, my kidneys do feel sore again, but until i pass blood i'll not pass up on hooch. been in one of my moods as of late anyhoo's, with many cynical musings. women do indeed prefer bastards, but thats fine as i'm slowly (or quite quickly, if you ask the right people the very wrong sort of questions) becoming one.

Had a run in with a bunch of happy go lucky (AKA-Ones that look a bit stabby) celtic fans. just to get my own standing point staight, i think all that malakey is just an excuse to hate each other. it brings people together and its a damn sight easier and hard wearing than love. anyhoo, theres me, showing of my exargerated ignorance by going. "so who exactly ARE the people?" and "whats this tim fellow all about?" whilst my freind tries to drag me away. best part was when i attempted to chat up one of their birds for a laugh. like i said, me bastardo

Me and my good friend ross, after some suspect "man talk" decided that we are both due a hats off to ya, and should be circumciscion buddies. I took the conversation to new found depths (attended by two other guys so it CAN'T have been gay) when i said we should wear whats not there as matching rings, which when we unite then and say the magic words, we turn into elton john. quite possibly we won't actually do this though

In other lame news it seems i've become a bloody adult. I fit most the criteria-have a place of my own, finance myself, given up on a lot of dreams ect.guess 20 is about the right age to do so, but (and not wanting to sound arrogant) i don't reckon many of my freinds have made the transition yet. christ i even watch the news a read the paper now-though given i do a journalism course, that should have been a lot sooner coming. i even feel crushing responsibillity for my actions. how the hell am i meant to compete with people that do what they want?

I miss you and it aint even been that long. but as i keep realising you're hardier than you seem and i've been using my manly facade too long to do anything else than accept things and pretend i don't mind. OOOOOH FEELINGS! didn't see that coming, didcha!

thought of the day-you should all know by now that i secretly suspect the very worst of each and everyone of you, including and indeed especially myself.

...now what?

well the weekend of doooooom is over, as indeed is a whole other week. and thus I. AM ON. HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
though it almost didn't happen. bloody new guy failed to show up so had to hang about an extra hour till some other tom dick or andy showed up. still, being paid £5 to stand about and sulk ins't a terrible thing.

And now that the holidays here, i'm a little bit scared. i've gotten used to the ungilded cage of the kitchen and my cellmates. in fact i was almsot falling into a healthy detoxing routine. its suprising how good you feel when you get up and go to bed the same time each day, drinking nothing but water. still, my body needs to learn, much like an unhappy wife, that the abuse will never end.

points of note since last entry. helped a beat up guy get a taxi. saw two homeless folk call an ambulance for another unconcious one. heckeled a jazz band by shouting things like "pinball wizard!" and "freeee birrrd". failed to sneak into a lingeri shoot held at work. chefed it up for a day. conversed with the elderly.

as my friend quite rightly pointed out to me, all a blog is, is a vain attempt to make the dullness of your day to day scenes seem less than half of what they aren;t. so rest assured, reader that found this blog by googleing elderly woman porn, that my life is as lame as yours

thought of the day- in 100 years time all the christians will be gay and all the islams will be cool with it

and the grind continues

wearing me down into a fine powdery paste, only for me to stagger back home to bed, reassemble my self like a very handsome sponge bob, and then do the exact same in the morn. Still, getting up and going to bed at regular times has improved the previously random character generated sleep patterns. Gonna try (and fail) to keep up with this getting up early malarky, regardless of work. there seems to be more hours in the day when you are concious for them.

seeing EVERYONE else and their aardvark are doing it, reckon i'm gonna try and start back up with the writing. except of course I;m me, so i end up producing stuff like this

wow, that green looks really green
"screw you man, you know i'm colour blind"
what! I thought you were just blind
"No, i'm blind AND colour blind"
Oh man, thats rough
ah, shup up, you crappy mime

Fortunatly, i am indeed keeping my day job. and the holidays creep closer with the reluctance of fresh meet hookers servicing their first obese albino customer.

the weekend of DOOOOM is almost upon us. lets all pray for rain, a great wall of rain.

thought of the day-reality gives me motion sickness

I have no fingerprints

due to working with chemicals and hot liquids so much. i could be like that guy from the popular video game Thief, who is a thief. Sometimes I sleep on my arm so it goes numb. and then upon awakening, i can pretend that someone else is holding me, as it lies dead across my chest.

Had a GOOOOOD night out with Cally Dave and assorted crew, ruined by the fact that i had work in the morn. still, my favourite barman was there, one Mr steven king, and he made me his special man juice cocktail. hell, there were even women to talk to, though i myself am acting catiously in such regards.

work work work work. i will have had one day off this week, and done 55 hours or so. still, there was a new guy in this morn (who i made do all the work, for first hand experience is important) and with any luck hours will be down next week. and of course, the holiday looms ever closer. it has been over a year since i have had a holiday from work, and over 2 since i've been out the country, so releif will be immense. plus it will avert the whole taking a kaleshnikov (sp?) into work drama llama.

thought of the day-the sand man comics are ace

tickle me emo

again, as always, don't take anything i write as serious or a cracked reflection upon my own pretending psyche

i never cease to wonder
why my eyes never cease to wonder
and my heart never seems the fonder
of girls i see for moments longer
than half a faded day

and though i seem to eager
what i offer is so meager (not a penis joke)
and what i feel is neither
what either of us wants

and, to lighten up a bit...

how did the camel get its hump? by showing its toe
how did the peacock get its tail? by giving great head
and how did the rhino get its horn? by having its way with a unicorn

another fine collection of little cuts and burns and scrapes to add to the patchwork of my hands. and another week of doooooom to look foward to (50 hour week) got mighty pissed off when the new guy who looks slightly elvish didn't show up. damn his pointy ears! no wonder that last alliance didn't destroy the one ring.

I dunno if its work dehydrating me or maybe people secretly drugging me (and given some of the folk i know, that isn't so far fetched) but i have being feeling MIGHTY wierd as of late. so many moments have been given up to checking if i am in fact awake, and if what i'm currently doing/thinking/being are the kind of things that merit being done/thunk/been. maybe everyone feels like this when they offically become an adult.

holidays are comin, wth a convoy of coke trucks, and i;m hoping i will do slightly more than the usual sit about, do nothing and moan bout it. but bare in mind that hope is the bastard child of delusion, born of a wild love affair with complacency.

thought of the day-pessimists are what optimists call realists

what reeks of booze and swears a lot?

ME. after toga goodness and getting 2 hours sleep for work the next morn. so called "friends" kept trying to man rape me just to piss me off while i was trying to grab 4 winks before the shit hit the fan. thats what happens when you let 4 drunk guys in togas sleep in the same room as you.

On the whole though, totally worth it. regrets were few, and oh what sights did i see. unfortunatly my hat collection has gone down somewhat after lending them out to various varied people.

Friday certainly bet thursday which was my actualy birthday (20 ooph) Came home briefly as i was working evening shift and....turns out most people kind of forgot. had to laugh at my little brother (to stop me from crying in dispair) my old man had given him cash to get me and mumsy presents, and instead he treated himself to a day at the cinema. still, he went with actual chicks which, regardless of their skankocity, make it all ok.

for those not in the know, me and my mum actually share a birthday. I'm the gift that keeps on taking (its my amniotic sac and i'm not giving it back damnit!) its meant to be good luck, and i guess it saves on memory space in the mind, but i do feel guilty, for my birthday tends (or tended to) steal the thunder from hers. Still, as each one passes they mean a little less until you're lucky if you get a card from you cat, as you rot away in old age, making that time old decison as to whether to pay the heating bill and be warm, or buy food and be fed.

thought of the day-its all very well being yourself, until you realize you don't have a clue who you really are