Tuesday 8 July 2008

i'd like to frame her narrative!

THE TALE

The three women wondered across the barren deserted desert, drinking bottles of oasis to hydrate their wilting skin. The wind blew hard, causing the yellow sea to swirl and ripple and foam and lash about them. As they progressed one of the women accidentally kicked something that jutted out the sand. She bent down to examine it and picked it up. Typically it was a lamp

She called her friends over and they gathered around it.
“It’s a lamp”
“Perhaps it’s magic. Try rubbing it”

The woman tried, rubbing hard with callous hands caused by a lifetime of sacrifice to the domestic goddess. The lamp winced

“You are doing it wrong, let me try”

Her friend wetted her fingers on her lips and stroked the lamps tip, caressed its underside using both her hands. This time the lamp shuddered slightly. But nothing emerged from its wick.

“I have an idea”

The final woman stuck the wick in her mouth and rolled her tongue about it in smooth circular motions. This proved to be too much and the genie shot out. The woman swallowed

“Shit, sorry force of habit”

THE END


John deflated the condom. Christ, short stories written on rubbers, what will they think of next? He carefully pinched the tip where THE END was written and slid the ring that said THE TALE down. To the disappointment of his girlfriend, it was quite a short story.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Genius. Sheer, unadulterated genius.

Plus, I'd like to juxtapose HER Cave of Wonders.

Catherine said...

Why would he use it when there's a story written there? I mean pens are pretty sharp, it could lead to problems unless one of her three wishes was for a baby.

Other attempts to stretch the analogy involved magic carpet rides but I was too tired to get further than HA MAGIC CARPET RIDE. I'm witty.

rob k said...

to clarify, the condom is a special varity which comes with the story moulded/printed into the latex.